


Everybody Likes Me

by quarktrinity



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - No Squip, Blood, Drug Use, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, but ended up doing homo zone bc its much more entertaining, in which the author intended on doing spicy bis as a subplot, like those two nerds from much ado about nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2019-09-26 03:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17133827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quarktrinity/pseuds/quarktrinity
Summary: Michael is faced with a new sort of problem: After him and Jake drunkenly made out at a party, he can't seem to get Jake to leave him alone. This is decidedly a bad thing, or at least an annoying thing.





	1. Mistakes Were Made

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fic I've ever written? I've wanted to write this for a while but I never really got around to it but now I am! Here's to hoping it goes well. Also, I never really decided whether Jake is Britton Smith or Jake Boyd in this fic, so feel free to interpret him as either!

So it was 10:43 P.M., and Michael Mell, known repressed nerd, was pinning Jake Dillinger- Yes, Jake Dillinger- to his own mattress, drunkenly making out with the most popular boy at school. You know, just another night.

Haha, no. How the fuck did this happen, again?

It was a week before the school year starts. As everyone has been saying on social media, Jake was holding a “Let’s get incredibly drunk and make bad decisions while blasting pop music so we won’t be able to even look at each other without getting painful flashbacks for another month” party, because why the hell not? You can do anything you like when you’re Jake Dillinger, and Jake Dillinger likes parties because of course he does. That’s what popular people do. Not that Michael would know. Or care.

Michael was happy living his life without parties and all that shit, but Jeremy was most definitely not. Well, maybe he was, but he definitely sounded excited asking his best friend to go to the party with him.

[New message from: Heeremiah]  
J: michael  
J: michael  
J: michael  
J: michaaaeeelllllll  
M: that sure is my name  
J: michael! i have a weird favor to ask you?  
M: it doesnt involve my gamecube and the dildo u found in the dumpster does it  
J: THAT WAS ONE TIME, MICHAEL  
J: and no  
J: it involves… that party? that jakes throwing  
M: im not going to that douchebags party  
J: michael i know you have a big gay crush on that “douchebag”  
M: ...okay hes objectively hot but i dont LIKE him  
M: in multiple ways  
J: whatever  
J: i just need a ride  
J: please?  
M: ugh  
M: fine  
M: but u owe me  
J: thank you! youre the best, micah <3333  
M: i know

Unfortunately, Michael is fully aware of Jake’s address and how to get there, since he made the mistake of going to some of his parties in the past. And sure, he used to have a naïve crush on Jake because who doesn’t? Michael’s totally over him.

Mostly.

There was still the issue that Jake was a walking Greek God when it came to his body. The guy was over six feet tall and could probably carry Michael with his big, strong arms and there was no way Michael was going to continue thinking about this. Cool your jets, Mell. 

It was six o’clock. Michael did Jeremy the favor of giving him a ride to the party and drove him to the loudest house he’s seen in months. He could feel the subwoofer from the car. Jeremy took Michael’s hand and led him up the cold stone steps to Jake’s house. Ugh. The whole place smelled like booze and weed and bad decisions. 

And it was loud. That could not be said enough.

“Dude! This is so awesome! Look at all these people having fun!” Jeremy raised his voice over the voices filling Michael’s ears. “Do you wanna go talk to people? It’ll be great!”

Michael grimaced. “Absolutely not. This party is the worst and I’m only here to give you a ride.”

“Aw.” Jeremy pouted and started to walk backwards, letting go of Michael’s hand. “Well- I’m going to try and overcome my pathetic social skills and talk to people. Text me if you need me!” He waved before approaching some people hanging out, awkwardly standing next to them and waiting for the right time to make a move. It was hilarious, really.

Michael waved goodbye and decided that there was no way he was going to be able to survive this sober. He made his way to the kitchen where many substances were being served to people much too young to consume them. Perfect. Michael took a shot of vodka and slid to the counter where not many people were, trying to hold onto any mental stability left. The vodka helped, kind of. It tasted like shit, but it helped.

He kinda just stayed there, watching the madness ensue as he consumed copious amounts of alcohol. Yes, he _will_ take another shot, thank you. The over-stimulation became easier to process the more numb his brain got, which was fan-fucking-tastic compared to the alternative. It wasn’t long before he was laughing at nothing and Jeremy sent him a text from across the room.

[New message from: Heeremiah]  
J: hey dude are you ok? im sorry i kinda ditched you there i got nervous  
M: heynman irs good  
M: m havnig a bsalt  
M: blats  
M: blast*  
J: jesus christ youre so drunk  
M: yupppp  
J: okay  
J: um  
J: yeah  
J: weren’t you supposed to be my ride home?  
M: .,..  
M: i ditnot cosndier this  
J: its ok! ill just… ask someone else  
M: m sorrryyyy  
J: just take care of yourself, buddy  
M: i thnk im gonan go uspairs so i dont have a panc attkc  
J: are you sure? i can find you and help you out if you want  
M: nnahhh u go have ur fun im gonna go on an avdetnuere  
J: ok dude just dont die  
M: youuu got it

Michael took one last shot and headed upstairs, seeing a few people making out where they thought no one would see them. He took a final step up the stairs and pathetically tripped, landing on his face. Luckily, no one really cared, he thought. He was terribly wrong.

“Woah, are you okay, dude?” A voice piped up above the music and suddenly a hand was extended to Michael’s elevation. 

Michael looked up and saw Jake Dillinger with an intoxicated smile, holding his hand out for Michael to grab. Unfortunately, Michael forgot for a moment that interaction was happening and he kinda just stared at Jake for a bit. Jake had pretty eyes, and an even prettier jaw. The taller boy tilted his head in confusion at Michael’s staring, and Michael tilted his head in turn. Jake laughed and lifted Michael up by his shoulders, setting him down on the floor. “It’s only been a few hours and you’re already drunk? I don’t know if I should be jealous or sad. Not that I’m sober myself, but… You know.” He ruffled Michael’s hair, causing Michael to giggle helplessly before he shook his head and gave Jake a stoic look.

“You’re a douchebag and I hate you.” Michael pointed accusingly at Jake, grimacing.

“Thanks. You sound nice, too.” Jake shrugged and didn’t let the insult faze him.

Michael opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped himself and put his hand over his mouth, running to the bathroom across the hall. Jake looked around, surprised, before hearing retching sounds coming from the bathroom. He sighed and joined Michael in the small space. Michael groaned and fell back, sitting on the floor. “Why.” He looked at Jake, annoyed.

Jake crouched down, putting a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Because you puked in my toilet. Do you want water?”

Michael flailed his arms around, tossing Jake’s hand off him. “I don’t need your pity water!” He shouted.

“Dude, calm your tits.” Jake ran a hand through his hair, composing himself. _Okay that was kind of hot._ “What’s your problem with me? Why are you even here?”

“My problem is that you suck, fuckin’ popular ass jock dickhead. And I’m here because my friend needed a ride.” Michael turned to Jake, still sitting, and crossed his arms in disapproval.

Jake took a Dixie cup from the bathroom counter and filled it with water, handing it to Michael. “You can’t exactly drive him home in this state, you know.” 

Michael took the water and grimaced as he sipped from the cup. “I’m _fully_ aware of that. Thank you for the cup.”

Jake lit up with a smile, happy to help. “You’re welcome! For real, though, why don’t you like me? Everybody likes me.”

Michael looked away, trying really hard not to open up old feelings, even though Jake was really cute when he smiled. Not to mention he’s a hot guy, sitting with him alone in the bathroom. “I don’t like you because… Uh… Because you represent everything wrong with modern high-school social hierarchies! Yes.” He congratulated himself internally for thinking of that last-minute. Like, he couldn’t exactly say ‘I don’t like you because it’s easier to hate you than to entertain some gay fantasy’.

Jake’s brows lowered, genuinely puzzled by Michael’s answer. “Dude, I’m a person. I got feelings just like you. I’m not some cartoon villain.”

Ouch. Michael felt bad for that. “I… I’m sorry.” He can still hate Jake, though. Hating Jake is easy and convenient. Being sorry for not considering him an actual person doesn’t change that.

“S’alright. Happens to the best of us.” Jake examined Michael, wondering why he didn’t talk to him sooner. “What’s your name again?”

“Michael.”

“Michael…” Jake repeated the name as he leaned in closer, gazing at Michael’s brown irises, down to his lips. He thought he’d be kinda hot if he wasn’t covered in a hoodie.

Michael’s face heated up as he noticed Jake staring. “The fuck are you doing? Stop looking at me like that…”

Jake smiled slowly, feeling proud of Michael’s blush. He wasn’t as drunk as Michael, but he was still decently intoxicated. “I dunno, you have a cute face.” Jake leaned in a little further, causing Michael to shrink into himself more.

“You’re drunk…” Michael pulled his hood up, desperately trying to get Jake to stop looking at him.

Jake pushed Michael’s hood down. “So are you!” His hand went behind Michael’s neck as he tried pulling Michael closer. “Are you sure you don’t like me?”

Michael was trying to think of ways to escape this situation. Frankly, it’d be easy to punch Jake in the face and leave, but something in him really didn’t want to. A dark and repressed box of feelings that was starting to open up in the back of his mind. Jake was beautiful. His eyes, his jaw, his hair, his lips- Michael stopped that train of thought before he caught himself in Jake’s net. Then there was the fact that Michael knew Jake. Not personally, but he knew that Jake liked to make happy faces with his ketchup on his burger at lunch, and whenever someone at his table said something funny, he’d let out this bright and loud laugh that just made Michael lose himself. Jake was funny and nice- no wonder everyone loves him. But Michael doesn’t like him anymore. He refused to like him.

...In his drunken state, Michael was starting to question his refusal to like Jake. Jake wasn’t mean, or gross, or a bully. Michael realized at this time that he hated Jake for the same reason he hates lots of popular things. Like reboots of old cartoons and pop music. Because hating popular things means he can dismiss everyone else’s preferences as long as he gets to live in his own little bubble, undisturbed by the masses. Liking Jake would mean agreeing with everyone else that Jake is awesome and hot. Michael doesn’t enjoy sharing passions with everyone else. Being unique is a delicate thing, after all. It’d be so easy to kiss him right here, right now. It’d be so easy to fall in love with this perfect human being again.

God, he’s irresistible.

Jake was giving this stupid smirk with his eyelids half-closed. Michael threw common sense and cognitive thought out the window and followed whatever stupid instinct he had. He closed the gap and kissed Jake Dillinger.

And that’s all he remembers. The next thing he knew Michael was pinning Jake to the mattress in Jake’s bedroom, mapping out the inside of Jake’s mouth with his tongue and figuring out how to make out with someone on really short notice. So that’s how that happened, apparently.

Bits and pieces of memories blurred together in Michael’s head: Jake throwing off Michael’s hoodie, Michael exploring Jake’s perfect torso with his hands, several hickeys, etcetera etcetera. It all felt like a montage in a shitty rom-com. Everything happened so fast, but all the emotions felt slow and dragged out.

At some point, after a whole lot of something happened, Michael passed out, drunk and hoodie-less, with Jake next to him- No, no. Under him. Michael was asleep on top of Jake Dillinger.

The party dissolved quickly without a specific time for everyone to leave. Everyone gradually left Jake’s house of their own accord, and the house was once again empty, except for the two boys in Jake’s bedroom, sleeping peacefully after their intimate endeavor.

And it was quiet.


	2. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens the day after a one-night stand, right? Sure.

Michael woke up slowly, opening his eyes and taking in the room he was in. This wasn’t his room. This room had a curtain that diluted the light coming in from outside, which was good, actually, because Michael wasn’t having a great time up in his brain-zone. Hangovers tend to be like that, he figured. Michael lifted the blanket which was covering him and found that he was almost completely naked. ...Okay. He scanned the floor and found his phone. Wow, that’s a lot of missed calls.

Wait.

Oh no. Everything was coming back to him. Well, most of everything. Some of the… later parts… were a bit fuzzy.

Okay. Okay, this is fine. Michael made out with and may or may not have had sex with Jake Dillinger, who was mysteriously missing. He’d worry about that later. For now, clothes had to happen or else Michael was actually going to die.

Michael got up and searched the floor for literally any of his clothes, but the floor was completely clean. His clothes were either in a higher plane of existence or… under the bed. The latter seemed more physically possible. He got on his knees in front of the bed and reached his arm blindly under it, searching for any sign of his pants. Luckily, he had boxers on, so he wasn’t exposing his ass to the lack of people in the room. Or so he thought.

“Haha, woah.” Jake just walked in and was definitely staring at Michael’s ass.

Michael shot up with a yelp and turned to Jake with an expression that existed somewhere between anger and embarrassment. “Maybe warn a guy before…” Jake was still shirtless, leaning on the doorframe and making the smuggest face possible. Michael was eyeing him more than he’d like to admit, which distracted him from the sentence he started. He shook his head and went back to being mad. “...Before walking in! Have you seen my clothes?” The normal aggression that Michael had around Jake was replaced with a general unhappiness with the situation. He hated _this_ , not Jake.

Jake gave up his position on the doorframe and got closer to Michael, looking down at him with his… tallness. _Wow, he’s really tall._ “I put ‘em in the wash. Same with mine, but I changed into a new pair, as you can see.” He gestured to the shorts he had on, but Michael didn’t bother to look down to verify his claim. He’d rather just… look at Jake. “So, last night happened, huh?”

Michael opened his mouth to talk about that, but he changed his mind just before any words came out. “I cannot have this conversation without pants. Do you have… um…” He moved his hands around to somehow elaborate on what he wanted. It’s not like he could ask Jake Dillinger for pants.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Jake went into his closet and started throwing clothes at Michael. The shorter boy somehow caught them, but he was becoming progressively disgusted at Jake’s wardrobe choices. Jake had given him a pair of pastel red khaki shorts, a football jersey which would definitely be much too big on him, and an equally large green Nike pullover hoodie. It was so green. Like, it should be a crime to have a hoodie this green. Michael grimaced and reluctantly put on the clothes Jake had given him. He looked… Well, he definitely looked like he just had a one-night stand, so that’s great.

Jake had been admiring Michael as he clothed himself. Michael did not look very amused. He looked at the sleeves, which went past his hands, and sighed. “This is not a good look for me.” Michael swung the sleeves back and forth, slapping the ends on his sides.

“I like it.” Jake leaned down to make eye contact with Michael. Oh God. This was the most intimate eye contact Michael’s ever made. Is this what they call ‘eye sex’? Michael’s train of thought was interrupted by Jake’s lips against his. He let out a hum of pleasure before eagerly kissing back for a few seconds.

Michael caught himself and anxiously pushed Jake away. “Jake, no. This is not happening.” His hands lingered on Jake’s bare chest, keeping him at a distance.

Jake pouted. That was actually really cute. “I just wanna kiss you! It’s not like I’m asking to marry you.”

“I get that this is like… A casual thing for you, but it’s really new and scary to me.” Michael really wanted to kiss Jake more, but he didn’t want to have to deal with the consequences of that. “And I don’t know how to feel about you now. I hate you, remember?”

Jake smiled, somehow still okay with all this. He put his hands under Michael’s shoulders and lifted him up, setting him down on the bed. “I don’t think you do. I think that you want to hate me, because it’s easier than thinking about how you really feel about someone.”

Michael fell silent. _How did he read me like that?_ “I think you’re being optimistic.”

“I think being optimistic isn't a bad thing.” Jake moved his hands so they were on Michael’s chest. He leaned forward, forcing Michael to lay back while Jake crawled on top of him.

“That was grammatically incorrect.” Michael’s voice shook, staring up at Jake.

Jake smirked and lowered his head, kissing Michael again. Michael didn’t fight it this time, mostly because he was a bit trapped, but also because Jake was… really irresistible.

Cut to two minutes later, and Michael and Jake are making out on the bed again. Jake’s hands were sneaking up below the hoodie he gave Michael, groping his sides. Michael pulled away to breathe, still not sure of what he wanted to do.

“Jake, I don’t think-”

Jake pulled him back for another kiss. “Don’t think. Just do what feels right.”

Michael glanced from side to side, internally debating. “I…” It’d be so simple to keep going. But is that what he really wanted? Well, yes, it was. But that seemed so intimidating, and knowing who Jake is kind of made this seem like Michael was digging his own grave. “...I need to go home.”

“What?” Jake didn’t give up his position on top of Michael. “I thought you wanted this.”

Michael escaped Jake’s hold and stood in the doorway. “I’m sorry, I just- This can’t happen.”

Jake didn’t respond. He just looked really confused. There was a pause between the two, before Michael made awkward finger guns and walked out.

Well. This certainly was a situation. Michael got into his car and went over the events that just conspired. So he made out with Jake Dillinger while drunk, and slept on top of him. Then he took Jake’s clothes and made out with him some more. When school comes around, Michael is going to have to see Jake everywhere, knowing that he made out with him twice, which would be less than ideal. Michael made a mental note to call Jeremy to talk about… everything.

 

“Woah.” Jeremy’s voice chimed through Michael’s phone. Michael had him on speaker, so he could lay down on his bed while staring at the ceiling. “So you had sex with Jake Dillinger?” He sounded impressed, really.

Michael turned to glare at his phone, as if Jeremy could see. “We didn’t have sex! ...Well, we might’ve had sex.”

Jeremy laughed. “Jesus, Michael. Well- You got your clothes back, right?”

...No he didn’t. Shit. Michael froze, realizing that his hoodie was still at Jake’s. He thought his silence would be a sufficient response.

“...Oh no.” Jeremy lost his amusement, sharing Michael’s fear. “Wait, wait. What are you wearing right now, then?”

Michael paused, looking down at his disgusting outfit. “Jake’s clothes. I hate them with a passion.”

Jeremy went silent for a bit. Michael could practically hear him imagining his best friend in Jake’s clothes. “Okay you’re sending me a picture later. Are you sure you’re not gonna talk to him? He’s a nice guy, you know. You could even date him! Oh my God, Michael!! If you dated him you’d be totally popular! _You would sit with him at lunch._ ”

Ugh. Being popular was the last thing Michael wanted. Having that many people care about him and paying attention to him sounded so gross. “Ew. You know how I feel about that, Jer. And there’s no way I’m going to date Jake Dillinger. I don’t care that I made out with him or that I’m wearing his clothes.” That was a lie. Michael was a bit impressed with himself for doing all that, but it mostly made him scared. Then again, it wasn’t like it would mean anything to Jake. Jake’s probably had stuff like that happen all the time.

“Michael, I think this is a situation that you need to talk to Jake about. I mean, what do you think he’s thinking right now? He just made out with a guy who took his clothes and left. He still has your hoodie, Michael! What’s he gonna do about that?” Jeremy was only good at rationalizing problems that weren’t his. He’s a situational disaster.

Michael didn’t wanna think about that. School was starting really soon which meant seeing Jake everywhere and he just wanted to hide from everything. “I don’t know. Or care. As long as he leaves me alone I’m fine.”

There were a few seconds of silence on Jeremy’s end before he piped up. “I just rolled my eyes, by the way. You couldn’t see because we’re talking over the phone.”

“You’re beautiful, Jeremy.” Michael started to continue, but was interrupted by his text ringtone. It was on his Instagram, which he never used, ever.

@already.pretty.boss: hey, michael, its jake. i wanted to talk to you because you kinda up and left?? is everything ok??

Michael left him on read.

Jeremy apparently heard his text ringtone from his end. “Wait, did you just get a text? Was it from Jake?!”

“Nah, it was mom. She said she’ll be home late. Work stuff.” Unlike Jeremy, Michael was an _excellent_ liar. He didn’t lie often, but when he did, it was for situations like this. If he told Jeremy that Jake somehow found him on Instagram and texted him, Jeremy would linger on this topic forever, and Michael was just about done with it.

There was the tapping sound of fingers on a keyboard on Jeremy’s end. Apparently, he was multitasking. “I still think you should talk to Jake. It’s a bit rude to steal a guy’s clothes and ditch, you know?”

“He gave me these clothes, Jer. And I’m just one of his post-party make out partners; He’ll just forget about me and move on.”

“Michael, I really don’t think he’s that kind of guy.” Jeremy seemed to want to help Michael, but he knows just as much about Jake as Michael does.

Michael scoffed. “ _Of course_ he’s that kind of guy. Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Have you considered that he might be a complex individual like everyone else? That maybe he cares about actual things in life, other than partying and being popular? From what you described, it sounds like he’s genuinely interested in you! Does that scare you or something?”

Yes. Yes it does.

“Jeremy, I’m not scared of Jake. And I’m not scared of him liking me, because he doesn’t. He doesn’t know me, so he can’t like me.”

Jeremy sighed. Michael was really stubborn about this. “I guess.” A pause. “Hey, I have to go. Dad’s taking me… Back-to-school shopping. Yeah.”

“You can say masturbation, it’s okay.”

Jeremy choked on air and quickly hung up before he embarrassed himself more. Michael shook his head and put his phone away.

Michael could've changed into his normal clothes, since he hated Jake's and he didn't want to be reminded of all of that, but he made the subconscious decision not to. Jake's clothes smelled like his cologne, and wearing them felt like a long embrace from Jake himself. It was a nice feeling.

He knew he couldn't hide from this forever, especially since Jake somehow found him on Instagram, and his clothes were at Jake's house, but Michael could deal with that later. Preferably never.

Hopefully, Jake would just forget about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: There were some complications that messed up the formatting of this chapter (italics, mostly, so the distinctions between Michael's thoughts and Michael's semi-third person narration weren't as clear as I intended them to be). But now I fixed them! So that's great. Anyway, I've been stockpiling chapters of this fic, so at the time I'm writing this, chapter 3 is done and chapter 4 is, like, halfway done. I'll upload chapter 3 when I finish chapter 4, so I can be prepared in the future. See you guys then!


	3. Michael's Hoodie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the first day of Michael's junior year. He only wishes he could just be invisible, like always, but Jake seems persistent on talking to him whenever he can.

Michael woke up to the sound of his alarm clock, beeping incessantly across the room. He got up and dragged his feet across the cold basement floor to turn it off.   
  
Today’s the first day of school. Which meant he’d have to see Jake, who he’s been ignoring all week, no matter how many times Jake texted him. He felt bad about it, but he just couldn’t bring himself to reply. But today, he’s going to have to see him in the halls, or in class if he’s unfortunate enough, which may mean talking to him, which meant a whole lot of other bullshit that Michael didn’t wanna deal with.  
  
Needless to say, this was hell on Earth for him. Plus, he has to go to school, which is its own circle of hell. Yay.   
  
Michael reached for the spot where he usually placed his hoodie, only to realize that it wasn’t there. Oh yeah. Another thing he has to worry about. Going to school without his hoodie. Great. He took out a long sleeved shirt and a Pokemon t-shirt, layering them for a decent Gay Look.   
  
Here’s to hoping he lives past the first day of junior year.   
  
  
  
Michael pulled up to the student parking lot and hopped out of his car. He took out his schedule, visualizing where his first class would be. A few minutes of wandering down the halls took him to his first class: Pre-Calc with Mr. Henning. Michael scanned the class for the desk closest to the back, but instead found Jake, sitting on a desk and talking to some other boy. Oh God, he’s going to have to spend the entire year with Jake in his math class. It didn’t take Michael long to realize the _other_ worst thing about this.  
  
Jake was wearing his hoodie. The sleeves didn’t quite go up to his wrists, but other than that it looked alright on him.   
  
This is it. Michael has died and this is his personal circle of hell. Jake paused his conversation and caught Michael, staring at him from the doorway. He sent him a perfect pretty-boy smile, with a small wave. Michael scrunched up his face and stormed to the desk farthest away from Jake.   
  
And then Jake was walking towards his desk. He sat down right next to Michael, and nudged him with his elbow. “Hey, dude. You didn’t answer, like, any of my texts. Is something up?” His voice was low, probably to avoid the attention of the teacher, mindlessly playing Solitaire on the other side of the room.   
  
“Please go away.” Michael didn’t make eye contact with Jake, refusing to acknowledge his presence any more than the bare minimum. “I don’t want to talk to you.”   
  
Jake leaned his head closer into Michael’s field of vision, causing Michael to turn his head down at his lap. “Well… I just wanted to give you your clothes back. You left them at my place, remember?”   
  
“Yes, all too well. I also remember saying ‘This can’t happen’, so whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t work. I’m not some desperate girl biting at your ankles to be with you.” Michael moved his hands to put his hood up, then realized that he doesn’t have a hood, so he put his hands back down. As if this couldn’t be more embarrassing.   
  
“Oh, so you’re too good for me, then?” Jake asked playfully.   
  
Michael lifted his head and gave Jake the coldest look he’s ever given. “Maybe I am.” He lowered his head again. _Please let him go away_.   
  
Jake muttered “Wow,” under his breath. He stayed in his seat, leaning back and checking his phone until class started.   
  
The class was just some syllabi and school policy stuff, and Michael actually listened to the teacher for the first time in his life. It was easy to distract himself from Jake sitting next to him that way. When the bell rang, Michael grabbed his bag and hurried out the door. Jake ran after him, with his annoying neon-green backpack slung over one shoulder. He called Michael’s name and said something about his hoodie, but Michael already had his headphones on, blocking out any noise with Bob Marley’s angelic voice.   
  
Second period-- English-- was much easier for Michael. He didn’t know anyone in the class, which was perfect. Michael knew that he’d have his next class with Jeremy, so he could vent to him a little. After an hour of introductions and mindless icebreakers, Michael was on his way to his third period.   
  
Strolling into the Physics classroom, Michael joined Jeremy at a lab station in the very back of the room. Jeremy bounced up and down in his seat, anxiously slapping the desk with his hands. “What has you so excited?" Michael raised an eyebrow.   
  
Jeremy bit his lip as he formed words for his exciting news. “Two things! First… I have History with Christine!! I sat down at the same table group as her and she was doodling stars on her hands with sharpie! It was so cute-”   
  
“Did you talk to her?”   
  
Jeremy went silent. “Um- No…”   
  
Michael smirked at Jeremy. “You're hopeless.”   
  
“Well-! That's not even all the things I had to say! There's also… Jake! Have you seen him today?” Jeremy fiddled with the hem of his sweater, awaiting Michael's answer.   
  
“I actually-”   
  
“He's wearing your hoodie! Sorry. I'm still really excited after sitting next to Christine." Michael rolled his eyes. Jeremy continued. “I think he wanted to give it back to you. You should talk to him! Maybe you could even-”   
  
Now it was Michael's turn to cut Jeremy off. “Absolutely not. That hoodie is dead to me now." Michael glared at Jeremy, offended that he'd even _suggest_ talking to Jake.   
  
Jeremy began to reply, but was cut off by the bell, signaling the start of class, and Jeremy was not one to talk while a teacher is talking.   
  
  
  
Lunch. The lunchroom was the showcase of highschool hierarchies, and those who couldn't find a clique were banished to whatever loser table was desperate enough to have them. This, of course, meant that Michael and Jeremy essentially had their own table, because they existed in the limbo between loserdom and self-respect. It was their own little world that allowed them to co-exist in this fucked up battlefield together.   
  
Jeremy had apparently forgotten about the Jake-Issue, because he was rambling about the new Paper Mario games and how they're a total disappointment. Michael mostly tuned him out, eating his sushi and staring into space.   
  
A few minutes into his ramble, Jeremy stopped, and Michael felt Jeremy tapping his shoulder. He shook himself back into reality and saw that Jeremy was inclining his head somewhere in front of them. Michael followed Jeremy's head-nodding and saw Jake Dillinger, still wearing his red hoodie, approaching their table. Michael groaned and face-planted on the table, avoiding Jake's gaze.   
  
Jake and Jeremy were talking within Michael's earshot.   
  
“Jake! Wow, hi! Did you… Uh… Did you w-wanna speak with Michael?”   
  
“I did, actually… Is he alive?”   
  
Jeremy laughed nervously. “Hahah… Yes, he just… does this, sometimes.” He poked Michael’s head. “C’mon, Micah. It’s impolite to ignore someone who wants to talk to you- Jake you can sit down, if you want! But, like, if you don’t want to, that’s fine. You have a reputation or something and-”   
  
Jake sat down across from Michael, cutting off Jeremy’s impending apologetic ramble. Jeremy seemed surprised for a second, then went back to poking Michael until he lifted his head and made a whale-noise. He glared at Jake with a predator-like hostility. “What do you want.”   
  
Jake’s eyes widened in fear. He's always had the upper-hand in any interaction he's been in, but Michael seemed determined to change that. “Just wanted to talk. And give your hoodie back. I kind of assumed you'd want it back. Also, I don't know how long I'll be able to go with people constantly asking if I'm gay, because of…” He pointed to the gay pride patch on the shoulder of Michael's hoodie. “...Yeah.” Jake laughed at himself, with a perfect smile on top of it.   
  
Michael wasn't going to let Jake win him over this time. He kept his glare and crossed his arms. “Better get used to it, then. It's yours.”   
  
“It doesn’t exactly fit me well, dude.”   
  
“I don’t care. I don’t want it.”   
  
“Why the hell not? It’s _your_ hoodie, and these patches look pretty expensive!”   
  
Jeremy watched this exchange with baffled eyes. His friend somehow out-prided the king of Middleborough, and Jake seemed to be desperately trying to win him over. Jake Dillinger, the legend who never has to compromise to get what he wants, is being rejected by Michael Mell, one of the biggest losers at this school.   
  
In the center of the cafeteria, the other popular kids watched impatiently for whatever mess Jake’s gotten himself into to resolve. Jeremy saw Brooke and Chloe exchange looks, then at Rich, who reluctantly got up and started walking towards the table exclusively meant for Michael and Jeremy.   
  
Oh no.   
  
Jeremy turned to Jake and Michael, who were still going back and forth. He tried to get a word in, but they were so determined to convince the other to give in, so he turned to see Rich, already here.   
  
Rich was standing quietly behind Jake, giving Jeremy a look. The blood fled from Jeremy’s face as he shrunk in his seat.   
  
“Yo, Jakey D! What’re you doing over here, broski?” Rich surprised Jake, grabbing his shoulders and leaning into his field of view.   
  
Jake shook a bit. Michael instinctively took Jeremy’s hand, but his eyes didn’t waver. Jeremy squeezed Michael’s hand in thanks, just before Jake responded. “Rich! Wassup, dude? I’m just trying to give Michael his hoodie back, but he won’t take it.” Jake didn’t seem to have a problem with being seen with Michael.   
  
Rich raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you even get it?”   
  
Michael shook his head at Jake, who didn’t seem to get the hint. “We made out at that party last week? And he slept on top of me, so when he went home the next day, he forgot his hoodie.” Jake grinned as he retold the tale, while Michael groaned and face-planted back onto the table.   
  
“... _Really?”_ Rich’s voice was shrill. He glanced at Michael, then back at Jake, then at Jeremy. When was done being weird, he stepped away from Jake. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He turned and left, walking at a pace a bit faster than speed-walking, but not quite running.   
  
“...Haha! What’s wrong with that guy?” Jake looked back at Michael. “But seriously. I’m gonna give you your hoodie back, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He stood up and slipped the hoodie off, exposing some of his midriff in the process. Michael may have lifted his head a bit for a glance, before getting a face-full of hoodie after Jake dunked it at his head.   
  
“Fine.” Michael grimaced at Jake, and reluctantly pulled on the hoodie. It… smelled different. It smelled like Jake. “Are you happy now?”   
  
Jake smiled wide and nodded. He got up and retreated to the cool kids’ table with a wave. Michael rolled his eyes, but Jeremy excitedly returned the wave.   
  
Jeremy tapped the table with his free hand for a few seconds before breaking the silence. “...So. You got your hoodie back. That’s good, right?”   
  
Michael crossed his arms in frustration, but it wasn’t long before he was hopelessly sniffing the fabric. “It smells different.”   
  
“Good different?”   
  
“Just. Different.”   
  
Jeremy leaned over to smell Michael’s hoodie. “Oh!” He sniffed it again. “That does smell different! Do you think his cologne got on it?”   
  
“Maybe? Probably.”   
  
“He’s so cool.”   
  
“...Not really.”   
  
  
  
Michael went through the rest of his day fiddling with the hems of his sleeves and pulling his hood up to his nose to smell it. He hated himself for loving the scent of Jake on his hoodie. It was like Jake corrupted his Thing with his jockish, perfect pretty-boy smell. He hated it.   
  
By the time he went into his sixth period, Tech Theatre with Mr. Reyes, Michael was in a mental war-zone over how he felt about Jake's stupid vanilla cologne. He couldn't stop thinking about it.   
  
Michael felt someone's eyes on him. He scanned the room and saw Chloe Valentine staring daggers into his soul.   
  
Haha, okay.   
  
In the same way Michael wasn't waiting in line to have Jake Dillinger carry him into the sunset, he was in no way intimated by Chloe Valentine when she gives you That One Look. Any other student would scream and run, but Michael was so over it. There was nothing she could do to him. He has nothing to lose, basically.   
  
Michael rolled his eyes and sat far, far away from her in the audience seating section of the theatre, which prompted her to get up and sit _right next to him_.   
  
God, what is with popular kids and sitting next to him today?!   
  
Chloe crossed her legs and pretended she wasn’t giving Michael her full attention, even though she was on her phone. Michael just put his hood up (more Jake smell, ugh) and tried to ignore her.   
  
“You know he’s not really interested in you, right?” Chloe’s foot made an idle motion, tilting back and forth as she spoke. She didn’t make eye-contact, but Michael could feel her staring at him through her peripheral vision.   
  
Michael groaned. “Listen, I get that you’re jealous or whatever, but I want absolutely nothing to do with Jake.”   
  
Chloe turned to glare at Michael. She scoffed. “I am _not_ jealous!”   
  
Michael gave Chloe a look. “Honey, you went out of your way to sit next to the guy who listens to Bob Marley and wears the same hoodie everyday, all so you could tell him that your ex isn’t interested in him. You’re gonna tell me that doesn’t scream ‘jealous’?”   
  
Chloe rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Just don't go thinking he genuinely likes you. He's just out to get in your pants.” She tapped her nails on the screen of her phone as she diverted her attention to the far wall. “It's his whole thing. He hooks up with a girl- or I guess he hooks up with… a peer of indeterminate gender, and then acts like he respects her- _them_ , so he can get more opportunities to hook up with them.”   
  
“...Do you need to talk to a counselor?”   
  
“Oh my God- Shut up!! This isn't about me! This is about you and Jake, dammit!”   
  
Michael stood up and put a hand on Chloe's shoulder. “You should find some help." He slowly nodded as he walked away to a different seat. Chloe crossed her arms and glared at him.   
  
He kept getting looks from Chloe the rest of the period.   
  
  
  
When he got home, Michael threw his hoodie off so he wouldn’t have to think about the intoxicating smell.   
  
Five minutes later he pulled it back on. It was like a warm hug from the guy he so hated and kind of adored, maybe.   
  
Michael slept in the hoodie, holding the sleeves close to his nose.   
  
He’s opened up Pandora’s Box, and now all his messy feelings were pouring out. No matter how much he hated it, his thoughts kept returning to Jake and his stupid perfect face.   
  
In the privacy of his own thoughts and feelings, Michael confessed to himself that he may be falling for Jake Dillinger again, in the stupidest possible way. Not that he’d ever admit it.   
  
It was his own little secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is out! I apologize for the wait, writing is hard and I accidentally started Chapter 5 without finishing Chapter 4, which is mostly why it took so long. I just wanted to tell you before you get confused that yes, this is a no SQUIP au, but yes, Rich is still popular and a bully, which is why Jeremy reacted to his presence the way he did. This will be explored in further detail later in the story.
> 
> Chapter 5 is more than halfway done, so Chapter 4 should be out... soon? Maybe. Who even knows at this point? See you guys then!


	4. Really Fucking Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake seeks advice from Jeremy on how to pursue Michael, leading to an exceptionally confusing lunch break for Michael.

Jeremy thought he was going to die. He was just minding himself in study hall, when he realized he was sitting in the shadow of Jake Dillinger, ominously towering over him.  
  
He gulped and set his notebook down. “Can I, um. Can I help you?”  
  
Jake crouched down to Jeremy's level, which kind of made them both feel more comfortable. “You’re Jeremy, right? Michael’s friend?”

“Uhm- Yeah…”

“What am I doing wrong? It's the second day of school and Michael won't even look at me.”

Oh.

For the first time ever, Jeremy was seeing a new side of Jake. He was honest, and not afraid to be a little vulnerable to achieve what he wants. If Michael could see this- Wait. Shit. Conversation.

“Why do you wanna know?”

“I’ll repeat myself. What am I doing wrong?” Jake seemed persistent.

Jeremy shrunk in his seat. “Uh- I think he just… doesn't like what you represent?”

Jake raised an eyebrow.

“Wait, shit! I mean- Um. He’s really hipster-ish, I guess? And he doesn't want to be anything but himself. And I think he thinks that you're… only what other people… want you… to be.” Jeremy carefully chose his words, but felt that he might as well have blown a raspberry in Jake's face.

Speaking of Jake’s face, it was forming an expression that existed somewhere between confusion and frustration. Oh no. Damage control, damage control!

Jeremy frantically racked his brain for a way to save himself from hubris. “I-I don't think that, though!! He just likes to be superior! Please don't hurt me.”

“What? I'm not gonna hurt you, what the fuck?" Jake stood up. “I, just- Do people really think that about me?”

“I-uhh-hhh...-" This is where Jeremy dies. He's actually going to explode, right here and now.

Jake ran his hand down his face. “Why is my first concern what other people think of me? That's the exact opposite of what Michael cares about. No wonder he hates me." _Wow, he caught on fast._

“He doesn't hate you! He ju-”

“What do I need to do to get him to like me?”

Jeremy paused, bewildered with the question. “Wh-I...” He thought for a minute. “I think… You just need to be vulnerable with him. Really honest and, like, authentic and stuff. Perfect is nice, but it's not what Michael really wants. I guess I'm saying… just be yourself. That sounded really cliché, but… Yeah.”

Jake visibly took a few mental notes, then held out his fist for a fist bump. Jeremy awkwardly tapped his fist against Jake's, making a quiet “Pchw...” sound effect with it. Jake smiled, and Jeremy immediately realized why everyone likes him.

That smile is the most perfect thing to have ever graced this Earth.

 

[New message from: WaterMellon]  
M: jeremy  
M: jeremy help  
J: hm?  
M: where are you  
M: please save me  
J: i got stuck in the library im sorry :(  
J: whats going on?  
M: jake just  
M: sat down  
M: where u normally sit  
J: >:0 that bastard  
M: theres more  
M: he started talking about basketball  
M: its 12 minutes into lunch  
M: hes still talking about basketball  
J: ...huh  
M: its like watching a car accident but with ur ears  
M: i cant stop paying attention to his weird monologue  
J: i think that just means you enjoy it  
M: im gay, jeremy, do u really think i like sports?  
J: i mean i think you just like listening to him talk!  
M: what  
M: no  
M: ew  
J: maybe you should try talking about something you like? just to show him hes not weirding you out  
M: but he is weirding me out  
J: he likes you  
J: talk to him  
J: i have to go bye  
M: jeremy no im lost without your guidance  
M: dont leave me  
M: JEREMYYYYYY

Michael locked his phone and stuffed it in his pocket. He was sitting across from Jake, who, twelve minutes ago, just came over, sat down at his and Jeremy’s table, and started talking about basketball, and _did not stop_.

If he didn’t do anything soon, Michael was going to lose his mind.

“So I said ‘Challenge accepted. I’ll have to play at your level. Like how J.R. Smith had to step up when Lebron Ja-’”

“Jake.” Michael finally cut him off.

Jake perked up, like an actual puppy. “Hm?” _Fuck he's so cute._

“You’ve been blabbering for twelve minutes and I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“Oh I know. A certain friend of yours told me that I should be authentic, so I decided to talk for as long as possible about something I like, without worrying about how weird I might look. Did I do alright?”

Michael leaned forward with a confused look. “Wait. Jeremy talked to you? Or did you talk to Jeremy? Somehow the second one seems more believable. But… Yes, that was one of the most impressive rambles I’ve seen in my life.”

“Thanks, dude!” Jake propped his head up on his palm. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you hate me?”

Fuck.

“...I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Michael looked away.

Jake persisted, “You obviously hate me and I just wanna know why!”

Michael hesitated before glaring at Jake. “Because why wouldn’t I?! You’re all popular and muscular and attractive-” Stop complimenting him _stop complimenting him-_ “-and annoying and awful and stupid- I don’t need a reason!! I just do!!”

Jake nodded along, tapping his chin with his finger. He tilted his head, like a therapist would. “See, that was a lot of aggression that came out of nowhere which makes me think you’re actually totally into me.”

“That’s ridiculous!!”

“Then why, Michael, would you make out with me? Twice?” Jake had a stupid smirk on his face that failed to illustrate just how smug he felt.

Michael pressed his lips into a thin line, his brows furrowed in frustration. “I was drunk. You were drunk. We were both drunk and we made stupid mistakes!”

“But we weren’t drunk the second time.” Despite Michael’s apparent fury, Jake continued to remain calm, if not kind of amused.

Silence befell the two. Michael was out of explanations, and Jake was out of questions.

Michael stared down at the table. “I’m not sure why you’re so set on bothering me all the time.”

“Because I like you.”

Michael groaned. “No you don’t…”

“What?”

“You barely know me! You can’t like me if you don’t know me.”

“But I do! And that’s why I _want_ to get to know you! What’s so bad about that?”

“I- How do you do that?!”

“How do I do what?”

“Just- That!! Everything you say, it’s like- Like it’s getting harder and harder to say no to you and I don’t know why!”

Jake raised his eyebrows, almost surprised, but not really.

“...Oh no…” Michael covered his face with his hands. _I cannot believe I just said that._

“You really are into me, aren’t you?” Jake smirked.

_...Fuck it._

“Fine. Yes. I am. I’m really fucking into you and I don’t know what to about it! Happy?”

Jake looked very happy. “I knew it. I knew it!!” He turned around and gave a cheerful pair of thumbs-ups to his table across the cafeteria. When he turned back around, Michael looked like he was going to throw up. “Oh God are you okay?”

Michael swallowed his nerves. “I think I need to step outside…”

Jake nodded and pulled Michael up. He took Michael’s hand and led him outside, to the back of the school. It was a rather short walk, but it gave Michael enough time to breathe.

It was a lot quieter outside. There was a soft breeze that made Michael’s hair fall in his face a little bit. The noise from the cafeteria dissipated into the autumn air as Jake let go of Michael’s hand.

“I'm sorry." Michael stuck his hands in his pockets. “The noise, and the people, and the sudden realization that there's no…” He hesitated, trying to find the right words. “...Turning back… I just got overwhelmed. I shouldn't have said that, I should've denied it and- and-”

Jake cut him off by hugging him. His hug was… surprisingly gentle, like one would hold a puppy. When he felt Michael relax, he let go. “You make it sound like you signed a death pact, dude. You just told me you liked me! Which I kinda already knew!”

Michael seemed to avoid eye contact. “I might as well have signed a death pact! Liking you has _major_ implications. I mean, everyone at school likes you, and my entire thing is not being like everyone else! That’s basic hipster shit!”

“But that’s the thing about you, Michael! You’re not like everyone else! You’re unique, and cool, and incredible, and… And I’m gonna admit, I really don’t know you that well, but I know enough to _really_ want to get to know you. I know I already said that, and I’ve said ‘know’ a lot, but I don’t care because I like you! I like you, and you like me, and I want to out with you. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

“...It should. I wish it was that simple.”

Jake tilted his head. “I don’t see why it can’t be that simple…”

“Even talking to you puts me in danger of all sorts of attention I don’t want, Jake! It doesn’t matter how much I like you. I wouldn’t be able to handle everyone obsessing over your life and be involved in that!” Michael fiddled with the ends of his sleeves, trying not to overwhelm himself by simply thinking about all that.

“Well…” Jake chewed on his knuckle in thought. “...We can make it a secret! No one will know, so you won’t get all the attention you’re scared of.”

“A secret?”

“Yeah! It’ll be all sneaky and romantic, like some cute romcom!”

“But that-...” Shockingly, Michael found no reason to reject this plan. “...And you won’t tell anyone?”

“Scout’s honor.” Jake made a dumb salute that was nowhere near what a Scout’s salute is.

Michael sighed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m doing this… Fine. But you have to ask me first, like a gentleman.”

Jake grinned. “Yes! Okay. Michael…”

“Mell.”

“Right. Michael Mell, will you go out with me?”

Jake was towering over Michael, having a solid seven inches on him. It was admittedly a fantasy of his to have a tall and handsome guy tower over him and ask him out. Which was kind of why Michael took a short breath and let himself take the chance Jake was giving him.

“Yes.”

Jake lit up with joy, even though he probably already knew what Michael would say. He bent down, cupped Michael’s face, and kissed him, although his smile made it a bit awkward.

Michael might’ve exploded at the spot, but he somehow stayed in reality long enough to pull away. He looked at Jake and patted his chest, muttering “Cool. Cool…”

It was at that point when the bell rang, notifying everyone that lunch has ended. Michael anxiously backed away from Jake, mumbling something about having to “get to class before I implode.”

Jake chased after him, placing his hand on Michael's shoulder. “Hey, hey… I'll text you, ‘kay? We'll talk about it, it'll be fine.”

Michael blushed and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course. It'll be fine.” He checked his phone.

[14 messages from Heeremiah]

 

Once again, sixth period came, and Michael was greeted with yet another scornful look from Chloe Valentine, which prompted an apathetic eyeroll from Michael before he approached Chloe and sat next to her, knowing there was no use avoiding it. “What do you want?”

Chloe didn't play any games this time. She gave Michael full eye-contact and everything, like a normal human person. “I know about you and Jake. He told me." Chloe looked less hostile, and more genuinely concerned this time around.

“He- He told you?!” Michael lowered his voice, trying to avoid attention from the other people in the room. This included Mr. Reyes, who, as everyone knows, is a bit of a sucker for drama.

“Of course he told me, dumbass, Jake's awful with secrets."

“Oh fuck." Here comes Michael's personal circle of actual hell. Jake told Chloe, and now Chloe will tell Jenna, and Jenna's gonna tell the whole wide world.

Chloe put her hand on Michael's arm, a sign of comfort. “Don't worry. We won't release the whole thing to the masses, because we care about Jake. ...And you, I guess. What matters is that I seem to recall you saying that you didn't want anything to do with him.”

“I know, I know, I thought I didn't, but…”

“He's just irresistible, I know. Look, I get where you're coming from. Jake's a straight-up hottie, and he's kind of dumb in a cute way, but listen to me, Nineties.”

“Did you just refer to me as an entire deca-”

“You need to keep that idiot in line. He likes to use his overwhelming sexiness to get you to agree to whatever he says, but it'll be better for both of you if you get him to understand that it's you who has the power here. He's a total bottom, as you've probably figured out, so he'll be into it. Just don't let him do anything that would put your little secret at risk.”

That was a lot of information. “...Oh." Michael raised his eyebrows.

“Look, I know I was a total bitch to you yesterday, and I'm sorry. I just didn't want you getting hurt.” Chloe paused. “...Alright nevermind that's total bullshit I was just jealous, okay?! But it's fine. Me and Jake were never very healthy, anyways, so… Maybe you two will be different? Who knows. But since you're secret-dating Jake now, that would make us secret-friends. If you need someone to talk to, other than that weirdo you hang around, I'm here. And so are Brooke and Jenna. We'll keep your sexy little secret until you're ready to go public. Does that sound okay?”

Michael was officially overwhelmed. Again. “Uhm… Sure! Yeah! Cool!" Chloe being… _nice_ … was like watching a Tim Burton movie, except all the characters were slightly more human, to a disturbing level. The true uncanny valley of dispositions.

But Michael was still grateful he had someone on his side, especially someone as smart as Chloe. Maybe this would actually be okay! As long as nothing goes terribly wrong, Michael should be able to keep him and Jake under wraps for as long as he likes. He's getting a win-win scenario. It's almost too perfect to be true.

_Oh God, it is too perfect to be true, isn’t it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey wassup I'm back! Chapter 5 is done and I have no idea on where to go from there, but next chapter will include a bit of an intermission, entirely from Jeremy's point of view! See you guys next time!


	5. Dustin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy's found himself in yet another predicament. A certain drug dealer dragged him into the library and Jeremy is only getting more confused the longer he talks to him.

Jeremy was stuck in the library. Not physically, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. He was stuck in social convention.

The worst kind of prison.

What happened was: He was crossing the hall to get to the cafeteria when someone tapped his shoulder from behind. Jeremy turned around to see Dustin Kropp.

Dustin Kropp. The central booze plug and drug dealer at Middleborough, and probably New Jersey in general. Jeremy's heard his fair share of bone-chilling rumors. Some people say he killed his parents, or that he's some sort of cryptid, or that he hides a gun in his galaxy-pattern backpack. Those rumors are probably mostly made up, but it doesn't change the fact that Dustin Kropp is fucking terrifying. What made him even scarier to Jeremy was the fact that Dustin is _Christine’s cousin_.

Did he finally find out about Jeremy’s weird crush on Christine and now he’s going to actually kill him? Is he going to kidnap and torture him for fun? Jeremy heard that he broke a math teacher’s jaw once.

Dustin’s look softened when he saw Jeremy’s face, as if he was surprised by something. He gave Jeremy a once-over, scanning him like a tiger would eye its prey. A series of expressions crossed his face. First a playful smirk, then a thoughtful glance to the side, like he remembered something important, then he opened his mouth to say something, before giving up and taking Jeremy’s wrist.

Jeremy flinched. “Um. Are you-”

Dustin didn’t respond, pulling Jeremy along into the nearest room, which happened to be the library. He cornered Jeremy against a bookshelf and put his hands on his hips.

“So-”

“I have money in my backpack _I will pay you not to hurt me!”_ Jeremy held his arms protectively over his face.

“What?” Dustin looked shocked and slightly offended. “Why would I- What?? I’m not gonna hurt you, dipshit. Look, my name’s Dustin, if you somehow haven’t heard of me.”

Jeremy slowly lowered his arms. “I, um. I know. If you’re not gonna hurt me, then why did you drag me in here?”

“Cuz my cousin told me about you yesterday. Christine, you know her, right?”

“Uh, I-”

“She was talking about you, and I thought ‘Huh, that guy sounds kinda familiar’. Then I thought ‘Oh yeah! I met that guy at the party’!”

Oh, right.

Jeremy blushed at the memory. While Michael was off getting painfully drunk, Jeremy was having incredible trouble talking to people. That was, until an absolutely hammered boy with an offset snapback on his head that said “HOMO ZONE” stumbled towards him and said some very nice things while leaning on the wall.

“...That was you? You look really different without your, uh... hat…” Jeremy gestured at his head.

Dustin looked confused. Shit shit backtrack _backtrack!!_

Jeremy plunged his hands into his pockets to prevent further embarrassing gestures. “I mean, uh- You were really nice at the party. I think you complimented me more than anyone else in my life has? Which, admittedly, isn’t a hard thing to do, haha… Because I don’t get many compliments, but- Oh God I’m talking way too much.”

“Hey, it’s alright. I talk a lot, too! And… You know that I was flirting with you, right?” Dustin gave Jeremy an awkward grin.

Jeremy blinked. “...What? You were- Oh no. Oh God. I am so sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Dustin’s awkward grin turned into a flirty gaze. “Sorry for looking hot at a party~?” He leaned forward and hit the bookshelf with his palm to Jeremy’s right, kabedon*-style.

It was at this point that Jeremy realized two things. One: Dustin is a solid inch shorter than Jeremy, which is kind of adorable. Two: Dustin is now flirting with him again.

Jeremy held up his hands to prevent Dustin from coming any closer. “Uhm- I think you have the wrong person…”

Dustin licked his lips. _Oh fuck._ “Nah, I’m definitely sure. You’re _the_ guy.”

Jeremy’s cheeks burned bright red. “...Are you high?”

“First thing you gotta know about me, Je-...” Dustin paused, seeming to have trouble remembering Jeremy’s name. “...Jeremy. Yeah. First thing you gotta know about me, Jeremy, is that I’m, like, _interminably_ high.”

“Interminably…? Wait, you’re not allowed to be high at school!” Jeremy’s voice cautiously lowered to a whisper.

Dustin simply smirked. “I’m also not allowed to sell pot at school, or blackmail teachers, or get into fights, or murder people, but I’ve done a solid three out of four of those things.”

“But… Wait. Have you…? You haven’t, right…?”

“Hey. You know what we should do?” Dustin playfully dodged the question, crossing his arms with a casual motion. “We should sneak into the gym basement and just, like, pound it out.”

Jeremy choked on air, blushing even more. “P-Pound it out?! Oh, um. I just remembered! I have to go to lunch and, um. Eat. Yes.” He attempted to escape, but Dustin blocked him with his arm.

“Eat, you say? Why go all the way to the cafeteria when you could stay here and eat lunch with me? I mean, we both know that you’re the kind of guy who brings his own lunch.”

He was, unfortunately, correct. Jeremy sighed and pulled out his lunchbox. “I guess this is happening, then,” He muttered to himself as he found two seats with a chess board between them. “...Aren’t we not allowed to eat in the library?”

Dustin pulled out a thermos full of some kind of soup, and a plastic spoon, setting the thermos on the chess board. “Yet another thing I will continue to do.”

Jeremy bit his lip to prevent him from laughing. “Truly a harbinger of chaos.”

“Aw, thanks! You’re too sweet.” Dustin took a moment to watch the steam rise out of his thermos, distracted by how the gas moved.

Jeremy was trying to get a read on Dustin’s character, but every second he spent with Dustin only made him more confused. From what Jeremy _heard_ , Dustin was someone who would break your wrists because he felt like it, and light his joint with your burning ashes. From what Jeremy _saw_  out of the majority of all two of his interactions with him, Dustin was suave and what Jeremy thinks charming badboys are supposed to be. And then there were the _details_ that he was beginning to see that made Dustin even more intriguing.

Dustin had a calculus textbook sticking out of his galaxy-patterned backpack, which meant he was a junior taking calculus, so, apparently, Dustin is really smart, which is… intimidating? Sure, let's go with that. His Sonic shirt showed that he likes SEGA, which is a bit of a turn-off, but the fact that his Sonic shirt was also a crop-top _(Kropp-top?)_ kind of made up for it, since it made Dustin’s abs _painfully_ visible. If you were as... observant... as Jeremy is, you’d notice that Dustin had a pale, linear scar on the side of his stomach, almost hidden by Dustin's gray flannel, but not quite. For some reason, Jeremy got the impression that it wasn’t the only one.

Jeremy was officially staring at Dustin's abs, and Dustin was definitely noticing. He was giving Jeremy this look, like a half smug, half heavily-flirtatious look.

“You just can't get enough of me, can you, Freckles? If you'd like, I can take the shirt off, and you'd be able to see a bit more."

There was _no way_ Jeremy was actually beginning to find Dustin kind of _extremely_ attractive. Nope. That was not happening. Jeremy likes Christine (Dustin's _cousin!_ Dustin is _off-limits!!)_ and any more crushes would make him completely unstable to the point of no return.

Jeremy knew he was blushing bright red. If only he had control over these things! “A-Actually, um. I was- I was just… Where'd you get that scar?" He pointed at the scar on Dustin's stomach. _Nice segway, real inconspicuous._

Dustin’s cool exterior shattered in a single moment as a panicked expression formed on his face. He adjusted his flannel to hide the scar. “Uh… Can opener.”

Well, that was obviously a lie, but Jeremy didn't want to pry about something Dustin didn't want to talk about.

“Okay… Um… You said Christine told you about me?" _Did she say something nice? She probably said my acne is gross, or that my voice cracks too much. Or, wait. She wouldn't say that, right? She's too nice._

Dustin seemed to like this topic better. “Oh, yeah! She said you looked like you could play Ogie in Waitress.”

_Oh, wow._ “Really? That's so nice… I love Ogie!”

“Jesus, of course you're a theatre dork like her. You know, she also said at one point that one of her dream roles is Dawn.”

That made Jeremy smile a lot. He imagined Christine and him, singing _I Love You Like a Table_ together. _Man, what a fantasy-_

Dustin was giving Jeremy a look again. “Wait, hold on. I know that look. Do you… like Christine?”

Fuck. What is he supposed to say? Should he lie? Would Dustin kill him if he told the truth? Or, hold on. Dustin didn't look angry, or defensive. He looked… almost heartbroken.

“No, nonononono! I just… really look up to her, I guess? She's an amazing actress, and just… the thought of working with her is pretty cool, I guess? Yeah." _Oh God please be dumb enough to believe that-_

Dustin looked incredibly relieved. “Oh, good, good. That’s good, because…” He leaned forward, like he did before. “I kind of _really_ want this to happen. You and me, gym basement, all that jazz.”

“Wow, um… Let’s put that conversation on hold. This is our first conversation where both of us are sober, so let’s not make any commitments just yet.”

“Uh. No. We haven’t had a conversation where both of us are sober yet.”

“...Right.” _He’s high, gotta remember that._ “So… Do you take calculus?”

This conversation went on for the rest of lunch, and every minute only made Jeremy more confused. Dustin was just so… Intriguing? He talked about math like it was the simplest thing in the universe, but Jeremy had no idea what he was talking about. At one point, Dustin was rambling about floor functions when, which was when Jeremy received an untimely text, and it wasn't like he could just ignore it.

[New message from: WaterMellon]  
M: jeremy  
M: jeremy help  
J: hm?  
M: where are you  
M: please save me  
J: i got stuck in the library im sorry :(  
J: whats going on?  
M: jake just  
M: sat down  
M: where u normally sit  
J: >:0 that bastard  
M: theres more  
M: he started talking about basketball  
M: its 12 minutes into lunch  
M: hes still talking about basketball  
J: ...huh  
M: its like watching a car accident but with ur ears  
M: i cant stop paying attention to his weird monologue  
J: i think that just means you enjoy it  
M: im gay, jeremy, do u really think i like sports?  
J: i mean i think you just like listening to him talk!  
M: what  
M: no  
M: ew  
J: maybe you should try talking about something you like? just to show him hes not weirding you out  
M: but he is weirding me out

Dustin took notice of Jeremy's phone and paused his ramble. “Who're you texting?”

“I- Uh-" _Shit, does he think I'm rude? Gotta wrap up this conversation QUICK._

J: he likes you  
J: talk to him  
J: i have to go bye  
M: jeremy no im lost without your guidance  
M: dont leave me  
M: JEREMYYYYYY

Jeremy stuffed his phone in his pocket. “J-Just my friend! Michael!”

“Michael?" Dustin’s interest was clearly piqued. “I think I sell to a Michael. Is he the hoodie guy?”

_‘The hoodie guy’? Seriously?_ “Yeah, that's him…”

“Huh. Y'know, Jake's been talking to me about him non-stop for, like, the past week." Dustin looked a tiny bit bitter saying this. “Man, that boy's given Jake a run for his money. I've never- I mean _never-_ seen _anyone_ refuse Jake's advances. I don't even know if he's playing hard to get, but whatever he's doing, Jake is fucking desperate for him. Isn't that weird?”

This information caught Jeremy off-guard. Did Michael even want that kind of attention?

Knowing Michael, he certainly didn't.

Jeremy just gave Dustin a slow nod.

Dustin's phone buzzed in his pocket, prompting him to take it out, giving Jeremy a second to see Dustin's phone case: solid purple with silver and gold stars. _Adorable._ He read a text and quickly locked his phone again. Dustin packed up his lunch and slung his backpack over his shoulder as he gave Jeremy a look of regret. “I’m sorry, I gotta go, some kid wants weed over by the parking lot. I’ll see you later, Freckles, 'kay?” He blew Jeremy a kiss and a wink as he evacuated the library.

Jeremy was probably blushing real bad, but most of him was just… _What??_ What even was that?? Dustin Kropp??? This has been a very confusing week, and it didn’t show any signs of getting any less weird.

After a few minutes of being frozen in confusion, Jeremy pulled out his phone.

[New message to: WaterMellon]

J: uh hey michael  
J: so you know your dealer? dustin?  
J: apparently he was flirting with me at the party  
J: and uh  
J: he kinda brought me into the library today and definitely was flirting with me again  
J: im pretty sure he offered to have sex with me???  
J: and it kind of kills me to say this  
J: but hes literally the most adorable human being ive ever talked to  
J: maybe even competing with christine  
J: but hes also um  
J: very attractive  
J: also competing with christine  
J: ...uh  
J: michael?  
M: JEREMY  
M: HI SORRY I WAS CAUGHT UP IN SOMETHING  
M: oh shit  
M: dustin? as in dustin kropp?  
J: yes  
M: do you… liiiiiiike him???  
J: ohmygod shut up!! hes just… i dont think theres a word for it  
M: hot? sexy? kissable? husband material?  
J: hes confusing. lets go with that  
M: confusing bc hes hot? ngl hes pretty good looking. have you seen his abs??  
J: yes. ive seen his abs. im pretty sure i was staring  
M: looks like SOMEbodys got a cruuuuuush  
J: michael im going to kill you  
J: i already like christine!! what am i supposed to do with a second crush!  
M: uh  
M: have it? dude there were times where i was juggling four crushes at once  
J: but dont i have to, uh… choose? that sounds objectifying. i mean, like, focus on one so i dont get myself tied up in a knot  
M: personally, id explore either option and see which one works out, but what do i know? gotta admit tho it is a LITTLE weird that youre crushing on christine and also her cousin  
J: i know!! i know its weird!!! this whole thing is weird!!!  
J: anyway enough about my daily misadventures  
J: what were you caught up with? what happened with jake?  
M: haha oh that  
M: well u see  
M: he may have asked me out  
J: >:O woah!!! congrats dude!!  
M: but he promised wed keep it on the dl so dont tell anyone  
J: oh like secret dating  
J: my lips are sealed  
M: yes like that  
M: im living a fanfic, jeremy  
M: this is what my life has come to  
J: well, at least its not one of those “ditch your loser best friend for your hot popular boyfriend” things  
M: no!! id rather sell jake to satan for one cornchip than ditch you :(  
J: my hero <3  
J: okay i have to get to class but you go get some jakey d, man  
M: i hate that sentence with every fiber of my soul, but i will try. (my secret-boyfriend is more popular than yours, haha)  
J: HES NOT EVEN YOUR BOYFRIEND YET AND I LITERALLY JUST MET DUSTIN SO SHUT UP  
J: ACTUALLY GOING TO CLASS NOW SO I CAN LEARN, BYE ASSHOLE  
M: pffFFFFFFFHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *You know that thing? This thing? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kabedon
> 
> Okay so fun fact: Originally, when I was first writing this fic, I planned on having Jeremy get with Rich for some fun duality, but obviously that's not happening. I know that this ship will probably be unfamiliar to most of you, but it's kinda adorable, so just stick with me. You'll understand.


	6. Sexy Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael has his first date with Jake! Meanwhile, Jeremy has his own romantic conundrums.

@already.pretty.boss: michael! i was thinking… how about your place for our date? tonight at 7?

@readyplayermell: oh god oh fuck

@readyplayermell: i completely forgot

@readyplayermell: but uh. yes that works

@readyplayermell: see you then? yea

@readyplayermell: uh. tentative heart emoji

@already.pretty.boss: did you just type out “tentative heart emoji"??

@already.pretty.boss: thats so adorable omg

@readyplayermell: SEE YOU TONIGHT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

 

@bemyvalentine: So your first date with Jake is tonight? Good luck, Nineties.

@readyplayermell: please stop calling me nineties, it literally makes zero sense

@bemyvalentine: You should be honored, honestly. I still call Jenna “Scribble Hands” because she always writes reminders on her hand.

@readyplayermell: thats dumb. youre dumb

@readyplayermell: anyway uhhh i have zero plans on what were gonna do and its in six hours

@readyplayermell: are you writing an essay over there or are you just typing for years to torture me

@bemyvalentine: First of all, shut up. Second of all, you’re the dumb one because you have no plans for your date. Third of all, Jake is awful at video games, so if you want to play video games with him, it will be very entertaining for both of you. Also, he has this weird obsession with Air Bud, so there’s an idea.

@bemyvalentine: How dare you make fun of my long responses; You should be thankful for my wisdom.

@readyplayermell: HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU JUST USED A SEMICOLON YOU NEERRRRRRD

@bemyvalentine: I will never understand boys.

@bemyvalentine: And you’re welcome for your entire life.

 

[New message from: Unsaved Number]  
D: YO GET SOME JAKEY-D (its dustin sup)

_...How did he get my number._

[New message to: Heerebiah]  
M: did u give ur stoner boyfriend my number  
J: what  
J: DUSTINS NOT MY BOYFRIEND SHUT UP FOREVER  
M: hahahahahhahahahaahahh  
J: but no i didnt give him your number  
M: ok im officially scared  
J: he also somehow got my number and called me at 1 am last night  
J: i think he works for the government or something  
M: not even gonna ask what you were doing at 1 am bc i think i already know  
J: >:/  
M: but yeah  
M: that would make his whole “anarchist badboy” shtick a bit complicated  
M: oh but u love that shtick dont u  
M: you think its the hottest thing in the universe  
J: OKAY YOU NEED TO STOP TALKING  
J: first of all its a total facade, i can tell  
J: hes taking calculus  
J: and hes really smart  
J: and he wears crop tops which is um.  
J: distracting  
M: yeah we get it u want his hot abs  
J: youre really not making this any easier  
M: :P  
M: anyway  
M: guess who has a date with jake dillinger tonight  
J: god i wonder  
J: its not like you told me about this yesterday  
M: mhm  
M: anyway  
M: you still have that collection of air bud movies ur dad got you for your 9th birthday right  
J: yes and i still havent watched any of them, mainly out of spite  
M: paternal issues aside, i need them  
J: ...are you seriously going to watch air bud on your date with jake  
M: dont judge me it was chloes idea  
J: ok i have several questions  
M: dont ask  
M: shes my “secret friend” bc shes helping me not ruin everything and bc jakes an idiot apparently  
M: tying into that, she said that jake really likes the air bud movies  
J: ashfasfkasflkasjflasjf  
J: what a dork  
M: aww babys first keysmash  
M: thats a gay milestone, jeremy  
J: yeah go ahead ignore the fact that your boyfriend is a massive dork  
M: please for the love of god dont call him my boyfriend  
J: your future husband is a massive dork  
M: jeremy.  
J: yes? :3c  
M: die.  
J: :(  
M: also im coming over for those movies

Jeremy locked his phone and sighed as he went through his closet for the pile of Air Bud movies he left in there, probably. He was folding through a pile of clothes when he heard his ringtone chime out from his phone. _Dammit, Michael, I told you not to call me while you’re driving._ Except, it wasn't Michael.

[Dustin??? is calling!]

_Jesus Christ._

For a few moments, Jeremy debated with himself over picking up or letting it ring.

_...I hate this. I hate everything about this._

He picked up and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Dustin, I-”

“Yeah, yeah, you wished I would call sooner, you miss me so much, I know. Hey, Freckles, do you play Pokémon?”

“Wh- I mean- Yes, but I need to find these movies in my room, so-”

“Did you check the bottom of your drawer?”

“..." Jeremy dug through his drawer and found the pile of Air Bud movies under an assortment of cardigans. _What. The fuck._ “...How did you know they'd be there?”

“Lucky guess. Do you wanna battle me today? In Pokémon, I mean.”

“You- Dustin, you're making me so confused. Why are you calling me again? Why did you call me last night?”

“...Why do you think?”

_I think I know why, but I’m too scared to be right._

At the same time, he didn't want to be wrong.

“I think… I think that you should tell me what Pokémon game you're playing so I can beat you.”

“You're so on.”

 

An unknown interval of time later, Michael bounded up the stairs in the Heere household to Jeremy's room. He heard Jeremy laughing and talking to someone.

“Wh- Since when could Jolteon learn Shadow Ball?!" Michael recognized this tone as Jeremy's tone when he feels comfortable.

It's a tone he'd only ever heard Jeremy have when he was with Michael.

Michael opened the door and entered Jeremy’s room, scaring the crap out of Jeremy. He yelped and almost fell off his bed.

“Michael!! Whatever happened to knocking?!”

“What, did I interrupt your phone sex with Dustin?”

The sound of Dustin laughing came through Jeremy’s phone.

“I’ll call you back later Dustin I’m sorry about this but Michael just showed up okay bye-” Jeremy hung up before Michael could embarrass him more. He turned back to Michael. “What do you want?!”

“Air Bud movies, did you seriously forget?”

“Shit, right. I found them, hold on.” Jeremy reached over to the end of his mattress and grabbed a pile of DVD cases. “Dustin helped.”

Michael took them from Jeremy with a confused expression. “Helped you… over the phone?”

“I really have no idea.”

“…Uh huh… Okay, I’m gonna go now, and you can continue your phone sex with Dustin.

“It’s nOT PHONE SEX!!!” Jeremy pushed Michael out of his room. Michael laughed as he walked down the stairs and out of Jeremy’s house.

 _I should probably be concerned that Jeremy’s crushing on a drug dealer._ Michael turned on the tunes in his car as he drove home. _…But I’m not. He can handle himself. Hopefully._

When Michael got home, he set the DVDs next to his T.V. in the basement. He had a few hours until Jake got here, so he could… do something.

Isn’t it strange how when you have something you’re expected to do, you suddenly have a thousand other ideas on how to spend your time, but when you don’t have anything you’re expected to do, there is absolutely nothing?

The world is such a strange place.

Michael looked at his phone and read the exchange he had with Jake on Instagram.

…Jake’s Instagram.

Michael pressed Jake’s profile picture, directing him to Jake’s account. He scrolled through Jake’s posts, seeing that he posted at least three times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. There were a lot of selfies of Jake with his friends, Jesus he had a ton of friends, pictures of dogs, Michael assumed they were Jake’s dogs, and pictures that looked like they could be used for modeling magazines. Pictures of him in glasses without a shirt, pretending to read The Lord of the Rings, or pictures of him with wet hair and a wide, toothy smile. Michael thought that Jake’s pictures were dumb.

…But they were very cute.

So he might’ve saved some of them.

By the time he heard a knock on the door, Michael had scrolled down to pictures of Jake from 9th grade . He locked his phone, took a second to fix his hair, and went up the stairs from the basement to open the door.

Jake was standing in the doorway, about the same height as the door itself, wearing a brand t-shirt and a navy blue bomber jacket. “Hey.” He waved with a small smile.

“Hey.” Michael stood in the doorway, just staring up at Jake.

Jake paused for a moment before gently moving Michael so he could get inside. He shut the door behind him and looked around the house. “Wow, your house looks so… lived in!”

Michael crossed his arms. “Uh- Excuse me?”

“No, no, not in an insulting way! It just seems like- Like there’s an actual family living here and… _Living_ here, y’know?”

“That’s a really weird thing to say, but sure.”

Jake shook his head. “Nevermind. What do you wanna do?”

“Funny you should ask.” Michael pulled out an extensive list and handed it to Jake.

“Let’s see…” Jake scanned the list. “It says: ‘Marathon Air Bud movies, beat him at Mario Kart, learn how to play strip poker, go to 7/11, bust out the weed and see what happens, give him back his clothes, for more options, see list two.’” He laughed. “Wow, you really have everything planned out, huh?”

“Not at all, I just like having options. Which one’s your favorite?”

“Air Bud, no contest.”

“Wow, what a coincidence that I happen to have several of those movies in my basement!” Michael grabbed Jake’s hand and led him downstairs into the basement.

Jake looked around at the posters on the walls, the bed, the dresser, the computer, the T.V., and the video game consoles. “Wait, is this… your room…?”

“What, does it look ‘lived in’?” Michael inserted the first Air Bud movie into his DVD player.

“N-I mean, yes, but it’s also a basement.”

“How observant of you.” He teased as he sat down on his bed, which was across the room from the T.V. Michael patted the space next to him.

Jake joined him on the mattress. “Why do you sleep in a basement? Isn’t it cold?”

“I like to think the chill is refreshing.” Michael took the remote from his bedside table and started the movie.

“Michael…” Jake turned to him, worried. “Do your parents keep you in here?”

Michael blinked, processing what he meant. “Um. No. If you’re asking if I’m the Cinderella of my own home, the answer is no.”

“Oh, thank God.” Putting a hand to his chest, Jake let out an anxious breath. The exchange was cut off by the ads and warning not to torrent movies stopping and the actual movie starting. Jake’s attention turned to the T.V. as he leaned on Michael,  who sloooooowly leaned back on Jake.

_Fuck, I have no idea what I’m doing._

Halfway through the movie, Michael realized that it was super dumb. The reason he didn’t think about this before was because Jake was getting progressively cuddly and Michael kept thinking about finding ways to show that he wasn’t ignoring him, which was why Michael had Jake’s head in his lap and was combing his fingers through Jake’s hair. It felt like Jake didn’t mind, but Michael was feeling incredibly tense.

_Jesus, his hair is soft._

He heard Jake quietly sniffle, like he was crying. “Are you okay?” Michael leaned forward to look at Jake. His eyes were wet with tears.

Jake sniffed and rubbed his eyes. “I just… really like this movie…”

Michael bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. “Jake, it’s just a dog playing basketball!”

“I know, isn’t it beautiful?”

“I mean…”

“It’s like poetry, Michael.”

“If you say so.”

Jake smiled and sat up, off of Michael’s lap. He cupped Michael’s face and quickly kissed him. “Did you know that I like Air Bud already? Before I came over?”

“Yeah,” Michael looked away. “Chloe gave me ideas.”

Jake laughed to himself. “Chloe always had dates planned out to the minute.”

 _I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to talk about exes on dates. But… I guess we're allowed to?_   "You know what she called our… our thing?"

"What?"

"A 'sexy little secret'."

Jake laughed loudly and fell back onto Michael's pillow.

Michael smiled, looking down at Jake and his perfect smile that Michael used to hate. “Um… I’ve actually never been on a date, so I’m not sure if I’m doing alright.”

“You’re doing fine, you have my favorite movie, and that thing you did with my hair was weirdly relaxing. Not to mention you’re just a great guy to hang out with! On a date, I mean.”

“…I kinda wanna make out now.”

“Literally was thinking the same thing, let’s do this.”

Michael paused the movie.

 

Jeremy lost to Dustin at Pokémon. Horribly. It was a nightmare, and Dustin was very smug about it. They kept talking on the phone for hours; He found that it was much easier to talk to people without having to actually be in the room with them, it eliminated half of his anxieties about conversations.

“No, look, I’m just saying, if they wanted to put all the Zelda games in the same universe, Death Mountain wouldn’t alternate locations half the time.” Jeremy stared up at the ceiling and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“What do you mean?”

“Where’s Death Mountain, Dustin?”

“The northeast…?”

“Where is it in Minish Cap?”

“The northwe- OH SHIT.”

Jeremy laughed louder than he normally let himself. “See??”

“You’re right, oh my God!!” Dustin paused. “Hey, uh… Freckles?”

“My name’s Jeremy.”

“…Freckles. Do you think I’m weird?”

What?

“I mean, yeah, you are weird, but not in a bad way! More like, a fun kinda weird, like Michael! Except, uh- In a Dustin-y way.” _What am I even saying?_

There was a moment of silence on Dustin’s end. “Thanks, Freckles.”

Jeremy read somewhere that you could hear someone smiling in their voice. He assumed that this is what a smile sounds like. “My name’s Jeremy!”

“I know, but you love it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Sure, Freckles.”

“Dustin!!”

Dustin cracked up in a bright fit of laughter. “Okay, I actually have to go now, my cat is yelling at me which means it’s time to feed her.”

 _A cat? A CAT???_ “You have a cat?”

“Yes.” Dustin hung up before Jeremy could respond.

_He has a cat._

Jeremy’s dad slowly opened the door and leaned on the door frame. “Who’s Dustin?”

“DAD!!!” Jeremy jumped and accidentally dropped his phone. “Does no one knock anymore?! At all?!”

“Didn’t answer my question.” Mr. Heere put his hand on his hip and raised his eyebrows, a move he learned from paying attention to competent adults.

Jeremy groaned. “He’s… He’s my friend. We met at school.”

“Wait, hold on, you have more than one friend?”

“I know, I’m a social butterfly.” Jeremy deadpanned.

“Jeremy, this is great news! Wait, hold on, he’s not a drug dealer, is he? He’s probably not, but I’m just making sure.”

 _WELL YOU SEE-_ “He’s not a drug dealer, dad, you can calm down.”

Mr. Heere fired shots in the air with finger-guns. “He’s not a drug dealer!!” He cheered with a funny Dad Dance.

“Daaaaaad, get out of my rooooom!!” Jeremy threw a pillow at him.

Mr. Heere caught the pillow and threw it back at Jeremy. “I’m your father, I’m allowed and obligated to invade your room, especially when your door doesn’t have a lock.”

“Yeah, about that-”

“We’re not billionaires, Jeremy, I’m not paying for another lock.”

This isn’t the first time they’ve had this exact exchange about door locks. Jeremy sighed.

“So.” Jeremy’s father was truly a master of conversation. He knew exactly how to change topics in a recognizably paternal fashion. “What’re we having for dinner tonight, young man?”

“Is steamed lobster on the menu?” They had an inside joke about how they’ll never have seafood at restaurants, because it’s stupid expensive.

“Hm. We’re fresh out of lobster, but we do have microwave pizza and some packages of spaghetti, among other variations of pasta.”

“Let’s go with spaghetti.”

 

The T.V. has been frozen on a single frame of Air Bud for about two hours now, and Michael’s red hoodie was laying on the basement floor, right next to Jake’s jacket.

And Jake’s shirt.

Michael was starting to get the hang of this. From his two crash-courses at Jake’s house, he learned how to give a hickey, what grinding is, and how to kiss someone with tongue. And, y’know, how to kiss someone at all. Evidently, he was fucking amazing at this whole making out thing, because Jake was making sounds that translated from make out language as “Nice”.

He was on top of Jake on the couch, feeling up Jake’s series of… assets ( _That’s a weird way to say abs_ ) as he implemented his recent skill of Sucking On Someone’s Neck And Leaving Fun Little Purple Ovals. Jake had his arms down Michael’s back, letting out a breathy sigh.

This time felt better than the crash-courses, because Michael was both sober and not recovering from the mental impact of a one-night-stand(?). Or, it did, until Michael’s phone made its annoying text-chime, displaying a notification for a message from Chloe.

Michael groaned and pulled away from Jake’s neck, reaching for his phone. Jake tried to pull him back. “Forget your phone, keep going.”

“It’s Chloe, I’d die if I ignored it.”

“Damn, better check it then.”

Michael grabbed his phone and opened the text.

@be.my.valentine: So you two are making out by now, right?

@readyplayermell: holy shit

@be.my.valentine: I’m not stalking you, I just know that Jake has some internal timer that requires him to make out with someone three hours into a date, at most.

@be.my.valentine: It makes restaurants very awkward.

@readyplayermell: …thank you for the heads up

@be.my.valentine: You’re welcome. Here’s your Valentine Tip of the Day: if you find an opportunity, try massaging his shoulders, he carries a lot of tension there.

@readyplayermell: chloe isnt this kind of really weird

@be.my.valentine: ?

@readyplayermell: youre giving me tips on how to date your ex

@be.my.valentine: Oh, Nineties, sweetie. If I had to avoid all my exes and not talk to anyone they’re dating, I’d never talk to anyone, ever. Wanna know something REALLY awkward that happened once?

@readyplayermell: what?

@be.my.valentine: In freshman year, a few months after I pretty much adopted Dustin into our friend group, he told me he was in love with Jake, the guy who I was dating at the time, but Dustin had no idea because Dustin’s an idiot.

@readyplayermell: oh my god

@be.my.valentine: Yeah. So I had to explain to him very clearly, “Dustin, you’re my friend and I love you, but I’m dating Jake right now, if you hadn’t noticed, so you better get over him real fast or you’re gonna fuckin’ die.”

@be.my.valentine: Dustin was way more timid at the time, so he couldn’t look me in the eye for a week after that. Luckily, he got over Jake in a single second when Jake wore denim on denim on a Wednesday.

@be.my.valentine: The fact that it was Wednesday wasn’t relevant, this isn’t Mean Girls, I just added that to show that I remember this very clearly.

@readyplayermell: oh no, denim on denim, the bane of humanity

@be.my.valentine: I have a major problem with the fact that people are doing that more now, it disgusts me.

@readyplayermell: can i get back to making out with jake now

@be.my.valentine: Yeah, fine, I’ll just talk to someone who’ll appreciate my wisdom on denim.

@readyplayermell: thx bye

Michael locked his phone and put it aside. Jake had been waiting patiently, tapping his fingers together. “What’d she say?”

“Uh… Summary, I should massage your shoulders, some weird story about Dustin, and how denim on denim is bad.”

Jake nodded. “Freshman year, I remember.”

Michael laughed. “Your life is so weird.”

“Yeah, it keeps getting weirder. Like, now I have a secret boyfriend who listens to Bob Marley and sleeps in his basement.”

“Boyfriend?”

“We’re on a date, that’s usually my benchmark.”

Michael smiled. “Cool.”

“Now get back here, we were doing something really cool and awesome.”

“I love how you describe making out as ‘cool and awesome’.”

Jake laughed and pulled Michael down, continuing where they left off.

 

Dustin put his phone down and patted Mochi’s head. “Calm down, you loud fucker.” He went into the kitchen and filled her bowl. Mochi rubbed her head on Dustin’s leg before ignoring him and chewing on her food. Dustin crouched down and petted her as he recounted the day’s events.

“I was just talking to a boy, Mochi. Like, _that_ boy, you know the one. I beat him at Pokémon.” He paused. “…Do you think he likes me, Mochi?”

Mochi did not reply, because she’s a cat.

Dustin gasped. “Who taught you that language, Mochi?! …Oh, you think it was me, huh? It’s always my fault, right?” He crossed his arms and glared at her. “Yeah, fuck you too. Y’know, this is why people prefer dogs. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Die mad about it.” Dustin stood up and lightly tapped her with his foot as his own way of kicking her without causing any actual harm. He’d never actually hurt Mochi, it was just a game he played, including talking to her, despite her not understanding a word he says. It was a game he played because there wasn’t really anyone else to talk to in his house, and Dustin has a lot of things to say.

He tried not to think about how pathetic it was that he talks to his cat like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

Dustin laid face-down on his living-room carpet, thinking about his weird-ass life. He thought about why he got into dealing. He thought about how, now, he’s constantly doing other things with the position it’s given him, as if pretending that he’s a normal teenager, living a normal reckless teenage life. He thought about how if he never dealt, he wouldn’t be in the position to be able to do anything at all.

Isn’t it strange how when you have something you’re expected to do, you suddenly have a thousand other ideas on how to spend your time, but when you don’t have anything you’re expected to do, there is absolutely nothing?

The world is such a strange place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, sorry! But now I'm back, and writing is getting easier. If you hadn't noticed, this chapter is very dialogue-heavy, and a lot longer than the previous chapters. That's mostly because I got carried away to the point where it's almost twice as many words as the first chapter. Maybe that's a good thing? Who knows. Anyway, I thought I'd do a thing where I reveal the title of the next chapter in the notes to get people hyped. Get ready for Chapter 7: Bi Mitzvah, as soon as I finish writing that!


	7. Bi Mitzvah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christine gets Jeremy into a very uncomfortable encounter with Dustin that leads into Jeremy being motivated to come out to his dad.
> 
> Alternate titles for this chapter include: "Jeremy Nodded", "What Are You Waiting For?" and "Motifs, the Chapter"

It should be stated that Jeremy Heere has a huge crush on Christine Canigula, the most perfect human being he’s ever seen. He may have been a bit… distracted lately, but that didn't change how he felt about Christine.

And Jeremy has Christine in his 1st period History class. Which is now his favorite class.

He still hasn't said a word to her, even after Dustin told him the nice things she said.

Christine came into class and sat down next to Jeremy, like she always does. She took out her composition notebook and her adorable pencil bag, full of colorful pens and highlighters. It felt like when she enters a room, all eyes are on her, and she performs for the world by being herself. She was a star, even when she wasn’t onstage.

Jeremy envied her in that way. She performs everyday, showing who she is to the whole world without any fear or hesitation. But Jeremy could never do that, he always got stage fright. He was just an ensemble member, in this metaphor, but he was still terrified of all those eyes on him.

Let the record show that even though Jeremy couldn’t bring himself to talk to Christine, that didn’t mean she didn’t talk to him. She talked to him a lot, actually, and Jeremy would occasionally nod along to show that he was engaged in the one-way conversation.

Which is exactly what was happening today.

“Morning, Jeremy! I saw a really interesting thing this morning! Wanna know what it is?”

Jeremy nodded.

“Drumroll, please…” Christine patted the table rapidly with her palms, and Jeremy eventually joined in. “I saw…” She cut off the pretend-drumroll like a music conductor. “…A hummingbird by my window!” Christine took out her phone and showed Jeremy a picture. “Isn’t she gorgeous?”

Jeremy nodded.

“My dad likes to put out hummingbird feeders in winter so they don’t die.” Christine spontaneously switched gears. “Hey, do you know my cousin? Dustin?”

Jeremy nodded.

“You do?? Wow, so he wasn’t making up that story about him cornering you in the library. I’m so sorry for him, Jeremy, he’s just… weird.”

Jeremy nodded.

Christine sighed and started doodling in her notebook. “He always gets carried away in his…” She snapped her fingers, trying to find the right word. “…Obsessions.”

Jeremy didn't nod. _Obsessions?_

“I mean, he’s… Hm…” She rested her head on her palm. “Actually, I don’t think it’s my place to say! You’ll have to ask him yourself.” Christine winked and stuck out her tongue.

Jeremy thought for a second about whether or not he should nod. He decided not to.

It wasn’t long before Christine was jumping subjects again, and Jeremy began to tune out from her tangent about sea turtles as his brain tried to rationalize the Christine/Dustin Problem.

Here’s the thing.

Jeremy knew that Dustin was into him. It was super obvious. He’s accepted that at this point. The problem was that Jeremy couldn't do anything about it. No matter how much Dustin flirted with him, Jeremy had to ignore it, because he still really liked Christine, and being with Dustin wouldn't be fair to either of them.

The worst part was that the same issue would come up if he was with Christine. It wouldn’t be fair to Christine or himself, because he also likes Dustin now, which is very overwhelming in itself.

Feelings are a mess.

Jeremy tried to think about how Dustin felt about this. It was probably really annoying to flirt with someone all day and have them just ignore it. Depending on how long Dustin’s had his eye on Jeremy for, it might even make him sad. Christine described it as an “obsession”. What does that even mean? Does that mean that Dustin actually really likes Jeremy, has for a while, and probably feels tortured because of how Jeremy’s been reacting to his advances? And Dustin knows for a fact that Jeremy is, at the very least, attracted to him, based on the way Jeremy would accidentally stare at him and would always turn red when Dustin would compliment him, so he knows that Jeremy’s just scared. Or, at least, he’d know that if he was smart, which Jeremy was pretty sure he was, based on that calculus book he saw in Dustin’s bag.

Then again, Dustin was also a bit naïve, which Jeremy figured out from Dustin falling for his blatant lie about how he feels about Christine.

He’s so smart, and yet… A little bit of a dumbass, which is… adorable…?

Jeremy was entertaining this train of thought longer than he expected himself to. He shook himself out of it and took a look at Christine.

God, she’s so beautiful, and smart, and funny, and charming, and… perfect.

And there’s no way Jeremy will ever be good enough for someone like her. Not to mention, it’s not like he’s ever gonna get the nerve to ask her out, and she definitely doesn’t like him back, so even if he did, she’d probably reject him in the nicest way possible that would still make Jeremy cry, but a lot less than he would expect himself to. Then he’d go home and cry about as much as he thought he would, call Michael, then hang up before Michael could answer because Jeremy doesn’t wanna bother him.

Luckily this was all hypothetical, because if Jeremy actually did those things, he’d look like a complete disaster to anyone witnessing his unraveling.

Decisions, decisions… Hey, wait, he can't call it a decision, that sounds so objectifying.

Wait.

Jeremy likes Dustin. Jeremy likes a _boy._

Why had he never thought about this?

_…Why have I never thought about this?_

“…I’m bi.” The thought escaped Jeremy’s lips, cutting off Christine’s call to action for saving the turtles.

Christine blinked, looking at Jeremy. “…You just said words.”

Jeremy covered his mouth with his hands, leaning into the back of his chair to physically distance himself from her.

“You just said words! You’ve never done that around me! Wait, wait, wait, wait…” Christine circled back to the thing Jeremy said. “You said ‘I’m bi’.”

Jeremy hesitated before nodding.

“For… Dustin, I’m assuming?”

Jeremy nodded.

Christine dramatically gasped and swung her arm across her desk, knocking everything onto the floor. Jeremy kind of just stared in fear and awe at the sheer passion with which one small teenage girl could shove everything off her desk. She slammed her palms onto the flat surface with a bright smile. “This is incredible, Jeremy!”

“H-Huh??” Jeremy shrunk into himself, turtle-style.

“You should ask him out! You two would be so cute together-” Christine picked up her stuff that she shoved off her desk from a few moments ago as she continued. “-And you two could wear couple costumes on Halloween, and you’d probably be a good influence on him, I’m just saying, he could use a guy like you in his life-”

_Having my crush giving me enthusiastic advice about my other crush is definitely not something I thought I would do today, but okay._ Jeremy waited for Christine to finish putting her stuff back on her desk before he let himself respond. “I’m not, really, um… I’ve never asked someone out before…” He trailed off towards the end of the sentence.

Christine leaned forward towards Jeremy, causing Jeremy to lean back, causing Christine to lean forward more. She tilted her head with a reflective look. “You should talk more, I’m in love with your voice.”

Oh. Jeremy’s face burnt up from the compliment. “…Th-…thank you. Your voice is also… good.” _Compliments. Difficult._

Christine smiled and nodded her head side-to-side as she pulled back, getting out of Jeremy’s personal space bubble. “Thanks! Anyway, what are you waiting for? You like him, he likes you, just-” She smacked her hands together. “Bam!”

“It’s not that simple!” Speaking to Christine felt like scooping really cold ice cream that doesn’t want to be scooped (the ice cream is words), and your spoon keeps bending, and you only ever get tiny scoops because it’s so frozen, and the tiny scoops get thrown across the counter and onto the floor if you’re really unlucky, and it’s a disaster, and Jeremy’s just realizing that this metaphor is delving into an anxious spiral. “I mean- Dustin’s like- He’s- And I- If I- He’s all- And I’m- And then he’d- Y’know??”

Christine stared in awe at Jeremy. “…Oh my gosh.”

“…What?”

“You’re a complete disaster.”

Jeremy pressed his lips together into a thin line. He knew she was right, but he couldn’t just… respond?

Christine noticed Jeremy’s non-reaction and waved her hands apologetically. “Sorry! That sounded mean. What I mean is: You’re a complete disaster, which is great, because now…” She clapped her hands. “I get to be your wingman! Wait- I get to be your wingwoman! Yes.” She tapped her fingers together like a cartoon villain. “Yes, soon, you’ll be swept in his arms, like… Like Benvolio and Mercutio! And I’m Romeo!!”

“…Why are you Romeo? Didn’t you play Juliet?”

“Well yeah, but- …YOU SAW ME IN ROMEO & JULIET???” Christine was making dead eye-contact with Jeremy and he was NOT LIKING IT.

“I mEAN YEAH WHO DIDN’T??” Jeremy’s voice cracked about four times in that one sentence. He was so glad there were only three other people in this room right now.

“Only 42% of the school saw it, yes I did the math- Okay I just got the numbers, Dustin did the math, he’s really good at math, did you know that? Anyway. I’m Romeo because Romeo’s awesome and I wanna play Romeo someday.”

Jeremy gulped and took a chance. “Um… Maybe I can play Juliet when you do…?” _Oh jeez that was weird, she's gonna think I'm weird, and SHE ALREADY SAID THAT I WAS BENVOLIO, FUCK-_

Christine just smiled. “I think that’d be really fun, Jeremy.”

Jeremy let out a heavy sigh of relief.

There was a pause between the two where they just smiled at each other. Eventually, Christine remembered what she was talking about and snapped out of the smiling-staring contest whichmaybemadeJeremyalittlesadbutshedidn’tneedtoknowthat. “Wingwoman! That’s what I was saying! Okay, wanna hear my idea?”

“Wh- I mean, I guess?”

“Alright, here’s my diabolical plan…” She made a silly villainous laugh, but cut herself off and paused, glancing to the side in thought. “…Actually… I don’t think I can tell you my plan with this many witnesses around. Too many ears. You never know who may be listening, Jeremy. To hear about my diabolical plan, I want you to meet me after school, okay? At thiiiiis locker number, it’s right outside the band room…” Christine took out a green sharpie and wrote “489” on the back of Jeremy’s hand. The 8 was written as two circles on top of each other, rather than the usual figure eight that most people write.

Jeremy stared at the number like it was the answer to world hunger. “Oh… Cool…” _Did… Did Christine Canigula just give me her locker number? Wow…_

Christine was biting her lip to contain her excitement, and she was scrunching up her face in a way that made several creases on her nose. It was adorable. “Okay, Jeremy, see you there.” Her face darkened into a faux-serious expression. “And don’t bring any cops.” She could hardly finish her sentence before bursting into giggles.

Jeremy had to force himself into not staring at her face and obsessively listening to her laugh. It was almost intoxicating. How could so much perfection be fit inside a girl so petite?  
  
  
  
After sixth period, Jeremy wandered the hall outside the band room, scanning the numbers on the lockers, trying to find 489. He saw Michael and Jake give each other a series of looks across the hall.

But now it’s Jeremy Time. Welcome to the subplot, bitches.

Jeremy adjusted his backpack on his shoulders as he read the numbers on the little metal plates below the combination locks.

451… 453… 455… 457… 459… 461…

He was really excited to see Christine, so much so that he nearly forgot that the entire purpose of their meeting was to discuss her plan for getting him and Dustin together. Nearly.

469 (Hah)… 471… 473… 475… 477… 479…

She’s such a nice person. Why would she even bother with someone like Jeremy? These questions plagued him. Maybe that was what made her so nice. It was the fact that she bothered with everyone, even if they were annoying and awkward and sweaty. He’s so glad they’re friends now.

481… 483… 485… 487-

Jeremy bumped into someone shorter than him. He realized that he arrived at his destination, and turned to see-

“Woah, dude, watch where you’re goi-” Dustin stopped mid-sentence when he saw Jeremy.

_What._

_WHAT._

_…CHRISTINE!!!_

“Freckles, what- Are you stalking me? Because if you are, I get it, I’m a total hottie, but-”

Jeremy backed up in total shock. “NO!! No, no, no, that’s not- that- that isn’t- No, I’m not stalking you!”

“Aw, really? Lame.” Dustin pulled a stack of notebooks out of his locker and dropped them into his backpack. Jesus, is that thing like Mary Poppins’ bag? It looked like it was already crammed full, but Dustin just slid all those notebooks in like it was nothing. Also, what kind of back strength does this kid have to carry that thing around all day?

“I- Christine said this was _her_ locker.”

Dustin cocked his head to the side. “Why would she say that? This is _my_ locker. You’re friends with Christine?”

“I… don’t know why she would say that.” A lie. “And… I guess I am friends with her? We have history together.”

“You mean history the _class,_ right?” Dustin raised an eyebrow.

_What other kind of history is th- OH._

“Yes! Yes, that. History, first period, the class, the subject.” Jeremy anxiously held the ends of his cardigan sleeves. It was times like this that made him grateful for the fact that his sleeves were always a little too long.

Dustin’s dark eyes studied Jeremy’s face, as if looking for something that he thought he knew was there. Except, it was harder to find it this time. His face was hard to read. He looked confused, putting together a jigsaw puzzle in his head.

Finally, it looked like the pieces were put together. His face burnt up as he bit his tongue, looking aside. “Goddammit, Christine…” He mumbled.

Jeremy blinked. “Huh?”

Dustin squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. “Christine wanted you to come here, to my locker, didn’t she?”

“Um…” Jeremy squeezed his cardigan sleeves with clenched fists. “I mean, I dunno…”

The air between them felt heavy. Now that they both knew what Christine’s diabolical plan was, or at least what part of it was, Jeremy and Dustin felt like there was a rubber band around them that was going to snap if either of them moved.

Dustin eventually broke the silence. “Why are we doing this?”

_Please, don’t make us address this._ “…Doing what?”

“Tap dancing around the fucking sexual tension, dumbass.” Was he- Was Dustin angry?

“The wHAt?!” _Voice cracks, voice cracks everywhere, kill me now._

“There’s no fucking point in avoiding this, Freckles. You think I’m fucking gorgeous, right?”

“UH- I mean, I- If you- If- I- You- I think- Uh-” Jeremy cringed at his stutter, internally screaming at himself.

Dustin groaned. “Okay, obviously words aren’t happening for you right now. How about you knock on my locker once for ‘Yes, God yes, you’re a fucking Adonis and I want you to pin me to the wall’ and twice for ‘Ew, gross, get out of my life you wad of cabbage gum’.”

“Does- Does it have to be one of those two very hyperbolized things?”

Dustin scrunched up his face as he looked up and to his right, thinking about it. “…Yeah, you’re right. Okay, here’s the sitch. I think you’re hot, and I like you. Like, God, who let you go around being this adorable and sexy? It shouldn’t be legal. And I think you like me, too. Don’t think I don’t notice you starin’, Freckles.”

Well fuck.

“So, what are you waiting for?” Dustin’s face softened into genuine… something. It wasn’t something Jeremy could quite define, but it was genuine, whatever it was.

_So, what are you waiting for?_

_…What am I waiting for?_

Jeremy’s brain was getting a bit loud, half of him telling him to cut the shit and kiss that boy, and the other half telling him to run.

_Run._

The terrified half won. He ran. Full emergency evacuation-mode. He sprinted past Dustin and out of the building, not sparing a single glance back. Jeremy got out his phone and texted Michael while controlling his breathing because skinny asthmatic teen boys and sprinting away from crushes in a panicked rush don't mix.

[New message to: WaterMellon]  
J: michael  
J: i need a ride home  
J: please dont say youre busy making out with jake or something  
J: michael?  
M: what  
M: sorry i was busy making out with jake  
M: oh shit are you ok  
M: i can give you a ride  
J: THANK YOU

Jeremy was still sprinting by the time he got to the student parking lot. He slammed on the brakes as he got to Michael’s car, where he saw Michael leaning on the door.

“Sup, dude, what happened?” Michael had his arms crossed. There was something peeking out from his headphones around his neck. Was that-

“Is that a hickey?” Jeremy nervously pointed at the bruise.

Michael adjusted his headphones, hiding it. “No. …I mean yes. Whatever. What happened?”

Jeremy was about to answer, but he was interrupted by his phone blowing up with text notifications.

[New message from: Dustin???]  
D: shit freckles im so sorry  
D: i was barely thinking i shouldnt have said all that  
D: are you ok??

Jeremy silenced and locked his phone. He sighed as he got into the passenger seat.

Michael got into the driver’s seat and looked at him. “So…? You still didn't answer my question.”

“…It was Dustin.”

Michael furrowed his brows. “Did he hurt you? I’m gonna fucking murder him if he hurt you, I swear to God-”

“He didn’t hurt me! He just- …He addressed some stuff that I really didn’t want to address, but it’s not like he’s not allowed to address stuff, it just freaks me out, Michael! I mean, he’s so- so blunt! He’s so fucking honest and it’s _terrifying!_ He just straight-up said that he thinks I’m hot and that he likes me, and what am I supposed to do, say ‘Wow, I like you too’? I can’t fucking do that! I can’t- I still like Christine! And it wouldn't be fair to him to…” Jeremy gestured vaguely, moving his hands around in the air. “…Y’know?”

“Gotta say, I really don’t. But… I think I kinda understand the gist? That sounds like a major mess, I don’t know what to say” Michael tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.

“That’s fine, I just- What do I tell him?”

Michael leaned back and tapped his chin. “Hm… Well, first of all, you need to apologize for Roadrunner-ing the fuck out of an important conversation he wanted to have. And… tell him that you just got really overwhelmed, which is why you had to evacuate, he’ll understand.”

Hearing Michael say it made it sound so easy. …Maybe it _is_ so easy? “…Yeah. I think I’m gonna do that. Thanks.”

“Anytime.” Michael plugged his phone into his car’s AUX cord and started playing some retro jams as he pulled out of the student parking lot. Jeremy looked at his phone and saw more texts from Dustin.

_Fuck, I forgot to text him back._

[New message from: Dustin???]  
D: please be ok  
D: oh god of fucking course youre not ok  
D: can you at least send me a keysmash so i know youre alive  
D: freckles?  
D: …jeremy?  
J: dustin! oh my god im so sorry about earlier  
D: OH THANK GOD YOURE ALIVE  
D: ARE YOU OK???  
J: yes im fine!  
J: and please dont feel bad  
J: im just stupid  
J: and i got overwhelmed  
J: so i had to run  
J: and im sorry  
D: oh god dont worry about it dude i get that  
D: so  
D: are we cool?  
J: yes! yes we’re cool  
D: :D!!! awesome!!!  
D: and uh  
D: was i right?  
J: about what?  
D: about you liking me  
J: um

_Do I lie? I think I have to lie._

J: i dont know  
J: this whole thing is confusing  
D: thats ok  
D: so can we just forget that earlier conversation then? like all of it? im pretty sure it embarrassed both of us  
J: yes omg consider it forgotten  
D: lmao ok  
D: haha  
D: uh  
D: friends?  
J: yeah, friends :)  
J: that smiley face looks passive aggressive but i promise i didnt intend it to look that way  
D: nah i got that  
D: wanna play pokemon later?  
J: um  
J: i actually think ill be busy  
D: oh?  
D: doing what?  
J: i dont really know but i think i wanna come out to my dad  
D: !!!!DUDE!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!  
D: GOOD LUCK!!!!!  
D: i bless you with my gay power  
D: godspeed young one  
J: youre so weird  
J: thank you

Jeremy smiled and put his phone away. He felt a lot better. He was so distracted texting Dustin that he didn’t notice that Michael had already driven him home. “Um, Michael, can we actually go to your house?”

“Huh?” He turned his head. “Oh, sure, do you wanna play games or something?”

“Actually, uh… I want you to help me with something.”  
  
  
  
Mr. Heere was working from home, like always. He expected Jeremy to come home a few hours earlier, but he didn’t, which a normal father would be worried about. Thing is, he knew that Jeremy went to Michael’s after school a lot, so he assumed he was over there.

His phone started ringing on his desk, the screen showing a picture of Jeremy laying face down on the sand of a beach in New York (a “family vacay” from two years ago) which he used as Jeremy’s contact photo. Mr. Heere picked up and put his phone to his ear.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey, son, are you over at Michael’s?”

“Yeah, um… Can you actually come here? To Michael’s house?”

“Sure, why?”

“Just- You’ll see. Just, please come?”

“I’m officially worried, but okay.” Mr. Heere hung up and started walking towards the door, when he realized he wasn’t wearing pants, and, generally, fathers walking outside without pants is a bit frowned upon. He groaned and went up to his room to put on a pair of sweatpants he saved for emergencies. Emergencies like having to go outside.

The Mell household was a short walking distance away from his house. Just a couple blocks was all it took.

The autumn breeze was getting chillier with every passing day, and the trees didn’t have the Pretty Aesthetic Look most people like about autumn. The trees were either green or dead, because life is horrible. They were still… kind of nice to look at, though?

Nature’s kind of underwhelming.

Mr. Heere reached the Mell household after about seven minutes of walking and contemplating why people like going outside so much. He knocked on the door and heard voices on the other end freak the hell out.

“He’s here-”

“I know! Just shut up for a second so I can-”

“HE’S HERE, JEREMY!! 'HEERE' WITH TWO 'E'S!!”

“THERE ARE THREE 'E'S IN MY LAST NAME, MICHAEL!!!”

Michael’s laugh could be heard from the other side of the door.

Jeremy took a deep breath and opened the door with a nervous smile. “Hey, dad…”

“Hey-” Mr. Heere immediately saw various party decorations behind Jeremy, decorating the Mells’ living room. Blue, purple and pink balloons, streamers, and a party hat on Jeremy’s head that read “BIRTHDAY BI”. Large plastic letters of the same color scheme hung from a string across the ceiling, spelling out B-I-M-I-T-Z-V-A-H. “…What’s a ‘bi mitzvah’…?”

Jeremy immediately clenched his fists. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

_Well, fuck, no going back now, I guess._

He stepped aside, allowing his dad to get inside. Jeremy closed the door. “It’s, uh…” _Fuck, ice cream words._ “…Come here.” He led his dad to the couch and sat down with him.

Michael held up a handful of party poppers and pulled on them, causing an explosion of confetti. “Bi mitzvah!!” He cheered.

Mr. Heere laughed at Michael and faced Jeremy. “Okay, what’s going on? I mean, I’m proud of you for planning a party, but… what is this?” He waved his arms around, gesturing at the decorations.

Jeremy fiddled with his thumbs. “Uh… Okay, so… you know that friend I told you about a while ago? Dustin?”

“Yeah, I recall that.”

Jeremy absent-mindedly scratched the back of his head, tilting his head up at the ceiling. “So, uh… I think I kinda have a crush on him? And I think that I’m… bi. Bisexual.” He looked back at his dad.

Mr. Heere nodded along. “And that means you like girls _and_ boys?”

“Yes! Well- That and… Like, people who aren’t either, I guess. Is… Is that okay?” _See, now he can’t kick me out, because I’m already in someone else’s house._

“Wh- Yes, it’s okay! Why would it not be okay?” Mr. Heere paused for a response, but Jeremy had nothing. “…You’re my son. And I’m gonna keep loving you, unconditionally. Even if it’s annoying. _Especially_ if it’s annoying. You got that, private?”

Jeremy nearly teared up, nodding. “Yeah.”

“You could’ve come out to me a thousand different ways, why… Why a ‘bi mitzvah’?”

“Uh… Because, like, a bar mitzvah is about becoming a man, and now I’m… becoming… me… again. So… bi mitzvah.”

“That’s really clever, Jeremy.” Mr. Heere gave a warm, paternal smile. “Now are we gonna hug or would that be embarrassing in front of Michael?”

Michael peeked out from behind the counter in the kitchen. “Don’t mind me!”

Jeremy turned around and glared at him. “You made it weird, Michael!!”

“Sorry!” Michael cracked up into giggles.

His dad’s arms wrapped around Jeremy’s waist from behind him. Jeremy hunched his shoulders, freezing in place. “Dad, no.”

Mr. Heere pressed his cheek against Jeremy’s back. “I love you, son.”

“Dad, please, the moment’s gone-”

“The moment’s never gone.”

“IT’S GONE, DAD!!” Jeremy crawled out of his dad’s grip and fell off the side off the couch, which earned a chuckle from Mr. Heere.

Jeremy got up and leaned on the opposite wall with his arms crossed. He noticed Michael suspiciously putting away his phone.

_Did… Did he get that on video???_

“Wait, so you put this together in what, three hours?”

“Your son is a strangely fast party planner, Mr. Heere.” Michael stuffed a bi-flag cupcake in his mouth. “Like, he made these cupcakes with the blue purple and pink frosting, and I didn’t even know until five seconds ago. Also, there’s a watermelon in the fridge. That’s not related to the bi mitzvah, I just thought you should know.”

“You made _cupcakes?_ And you didn’t _tell me?”_ Mr. Heere gaped at his son. How dare he not mention cupcakes.

Jeremy nodded. “I just… I got a bit carried away.”

Michael crossed the room and handed Mr. Heere a cupcake. Jeremy had managed to evenly distribute blue, purple and pink frosting across the top. This one was decorated with white sprinkles. “Jeremy?” Mr. Heere leaned forward, holding the cupcake in one hand.

“Hm?”

“Thank you for telling me the truth. I’m proud of you.” Mr. Heere took a bite out of the cupcake and smiled.

Jeremy felt… lighter. Like a gigantic weight was lifted off his body. But there was still something unresolved in his brain. He probably made Dustin feel like shit earlier. Knowing Dustin, he’d just shove it deep down and pretend like it didn't bother him. Normally, this would send Jeremy down some dark spiral, but… he felt fine.

He felt fine because his dad loved him.

“…Thanks, dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? You noticed how I gave people who are related similar mannerisms, like scrunching up their face and vaguely gesturing with their arms? Why yes, that was intentional, and I'm very proud of it, even though it's not impressive in the slightest.
> 
> Also, this ended up being 4.6K words, which is more than twice the length of Chapter 1, so... Is that a good thing? I dunno. It's just a thing. So if you like a lot of words, you're welcome, I guess?
> 
> Anyway, the next chapter is gonna be called "Nobody Likes You" featuring Rich Goranski.
> 
> (BIG THANKS TO SOPH FOR HELPING ME WRITE THE BI MITZVAH SCENE BECAUSE I WAS ***REAL*** NERVOUS ABOUT IT ALSO FOR EDITING FOR ME)


	8. Nobody Likes You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dustin kicks homophobia in the nose
> 
> TW: Blood, violence, homophobia (no slurs, mostly jokes in bad taste)

Jake and Michael had been seeing each other in secret for several weeks by the time October began. The rest of the cool kids kept their promise not to tell anyone about them, even though it was driving Jenna insane. Most of them were cool about it, though.

Except Rich.

For some reason, he always acted weird whenever someone brought it up. He’d do this weird cringe and avoid talking.

Rich had always been a little different from his friends. Everybody liked Jake because Jake was nice, talented, hot, and the closest thing anyone will get to a perfect human being. Everybody liked Chloe because liking her was a social necessity due to how hot and terrifying she was, so you had to like her, even if you also hated her. Everybody liked Brooke out of association with Chloe. Everybody liked Jenna because she provides a service to the public. Everybody liked Dustin because he also provided a service to the public, but most people were also terrified of him, so the appeal was a bit mixed.

Everybody liked Rich because Rich formed his life based on what everybody liked.

He used to be invisible. He used to be scared, miserable and alone.

But then he started to pay attention to what people liked.

People liked guys with expensive sneakers. People liked guys who were buff. People liked guys with slicked back hair. People liked guys who walked with their chest out. People liked guys who wore contacts instead of glasses.

So Rich became everything they liked. He got new clothes, he worked out, he changed his hair, he changed his posture, he wore contacts.

And suddenly everybody noticed him. Everybody liked him. So he kept paying attention to what people liked, and applied it to himself.

Rich Goranski became a name that everybody knew, and everybody thought of as a cool guy. Rich Goranski became part of the social circle that included Jake Dillinger, Chloe Valentine, Brooke Lohst, Jenna Rolan and Dustin Kropp.

Whenever Rich would do something that he recognized people enjoyed, he took a mental note to do that thing when he could.

One of those things involved Dustin Kropp.

It was mid-sophomore year, around February, when Dustin sat down at the cool kids’ table with a groan.

“We got our quizzes back in pre-calc, and I totally blew it.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Rich glanced up from his phone and made a joke he wasn’t sure would be successful. “I thought you liked blowing stuff.”

The joke landed. Everyone at the table laughed, except Dustin. Dustin just had a confused and hurt look.

The joke was that Dustin’s gay. So it was funny.

The jokes became a trend. Rich started publicly addressing it whenever Dustin would talk to a guy, saying things like:

“Watch out, T.J., he’s just out to get in your pants!”

“Woah, Dustin, he has a girlfriend, don’t you know?”

“Leave room for Jesus, you kinky fucker!”

And everyone kept laughing. Everyone kept _liking_ it.

But Dustin always just stood there and took it. Rich didn't know why; Dustin never seemed like the kind of guy to tolerate that kind of harassment. Rich expected Dustin to kick him in the face, or yell at him, or humiliate him in retaliation, anything to defend himself, but he never thought Dustin would just… do nothing.

The problem was that Rich was never very good at putting himself in others’ shoes. That’s what made him climbing the social ladder so easy. If he could think about Dustin’s side of the story for a second, he’d realize that Dustin had no choice but to stand there and take it.

From Dustin’s perspective, Rich wasn’t just a friend who was being a massive prick, he was a threat. If Dustin fought back, it was a possibility that Rich would ruin his business, telling everybody to get their drugs and booze somewhere else. He could destroy Dustin’s life through simple word of mouth. And Dustin couldn’t let that happen. He was already on thin ice by being out at school with Rich of all people holding the public’s opinions in his fist. Dustin had to take it. The alternative could mean his livelihood being crucified.

Not that Rich knew that.

All he knew was that if he wanted to keep his reputation, he needed to keep being the one saying the jokes, not the one who was the punchline. He needed to keep being a Rich Goranski, and not a Dustin Kropp.

But Jake Dillinger wasn’t a Dustin Kropp. Jake Dillinger wasn’t a punchline. And yet… Jake Dillinger was also gay. Or whatever he said he was (Was it pan? Rich couldn’t remember).

So what’s he supposed to do with that?

Rich didn’t know. And he didn’t want to think about it.

Luckily, he didn’t have to. He could, instead, think about how Dustin had a new conquest in the works: Jeremy Heere.

In all honesty, it was kind of perfect. Sexual tension between the two people he decided were punchlines? It couldn’t get any better than this.

This is what Rich was thinking about when he was walking to lunch with Jake, who was talking about some stupid date with Michael.

“-And then he did this thing with my hair, and it was kind of weirdly calming? Like-”

“Hey, hold on.” Rich held his hand up towards Jake, cutting him off. “Look over there.” He pointed across the cafeteria, to Jeremy and Michael’s table.

Dustin was sitting there.

He was clearly flirting with Jeremy, and Jeremy was clearly flattered, but he’s gotten used to it at this point.

“…What am I looking at?”

“Dustin’s sitting next to Jeremy Heere, isn’t that… A bit weird? Kinda funny?”

“Wait, do you think he’s…?”

“Oh yeah.” Rich snickered.

Jake just smiled. “Good for him.”

“…Sorry, what?”

“Good for him, you know? He deserves someone nice.”

“…Okay, but it’s _funny_ , right?”

Jake looked down at him. “What?”

“It’s funny!”

“Why?”

“Uh… Because, you know… It just is.”

“Okay, dude.” Jake went ahead of Rich on his way to their table.

…What was that?

Not really wanting to interact with Jake after that fiasco, Rich decided to take a detour to Jeremy’s table. Jeremy noticed this right away and tried to get a word into the exchange between him and Dustin, but Dustin was apparently on some tangent, making the attempt futile.

Dustin’s tangent about corporatism and global warming was cut off by Rich leaning on the table with his elbows. The entire table went quiet, with Dustin giving Rich a cautious look. “…Can I help you?”

“Don’t mind me, I’m just waiting for the part where you quit the foreplay and start giving Heere a blowjob.”

Dustin’s eye might’ve twitched. “We’re just friends.”

Rich looked at Jeremy, then back at Dustin. “Uh huh.”

This interaction was both painful and fascinating to Jeremy. Something about the way Dustin was ever so slightly squinting (or glaring, probably), and his balled up fist outside of Rich’s field of vision told Jeremy that Dustin was seconds away from snapping and starting a fight in the lunchroom.

But Dustin wasn’t doing anything. Every joke Rich made hit Dustin and bounced right off.

“What’s happening right now?” Michael whispered into Jeremy’s ear.

“I… don’t know…?” Jeremy inched away from the conflict, getting closer to Michael.

It looked like Rich was trying to test how far he could stretch Dustin’s patience, like playing Russian Roulette with a stoner’s temper. “I just find it a little interesting, seeing as you normally have a certain type when it comes to these things.”

Dustin’s expression was stone cold. “What do you think my ‘type’ is, Rich?”

“I dunno, kind of like Jake, I guess.”

That one definitely chipped away at Dustin’s buttons a bit, but he didn’t break. Michael’s jaw dropped at the unsubtle jab directed at both Dustin and him. Jeremy was just as speechless; He could only watch and pray that nothing went wrong.

“You think so?”

“Well, yeah, considering your fruit basket of ex-boyfriends-”

Something broke behind Dustin’s almost-calm expression.

Dustin started tapping his finger on the side of his leg. “Please don’t bring up my exes in front of Jeremy.”

“I thought you were ‘just friends’?”

The tapping got faster. Dustin stood up from his seat. Jeremy was convinced that Dustin was going to explode in a matter of moments.

“I think you should go, Rich.” He was still tapping his finger on his leg, almost impossibly fast. The tension was getting tighter. It felt like if someone lit a match, if there was a single spark, the whole room would explode.

Rich stood up across the table from him. Despite Rich being shorter than Dustin, it was difficult to judge who had the larger presence. “Aw, why? I’m just having a friendly conversation with my bud and his twink boyfriend.”

Dustin’s finger-tapping stopped.

“Speaking of which,” Rich continued, “Why him? Like, of all the guys at this school, did you really have to pick the most helpless, pitiful-”

Dustin held up his finger, cutting Rich off. “Finish that sentence. I dare you.”

He was giving Rich a chance to back out. Dustin’s fuse was almost burned away, but he was giving Rich a wide opportunity to avoid the explosion they both knew was coming. But Rich almost looked _excited_. Like he’s been testing how far he could go with Dustin for months, and finding his breaking point would be an actual achievement.

The cafeteria was beginning to crowd around the table, whispers being exchanged back and forth. “Who has your bet?” “Is Dustin gonna kill him?” “I told you this would happen eventually.”

Rich’s douchey grin got wider as he kept going. “… _Pathetic_ loser at this damn school.”

The crowd went silent, waiting for Dustin to react. For a second, it looked like Dustin wasn’t going to do anything.

And then he moved.

Dustin took a total of three steps in quick succession, the entire sequence taking about a second and a half. His first step landed on the seat he was sitting on before. His second step went higher, on the surface of the table, about five feet away from Rich. His third step was also on the table, but closer to Rich. The proximity caused Rich to take a step back. Dustin lifted the foot his weight wasn’t placed on and recoiled it up, his knee going up to his waist, and his foot up to where his other knee was.

A look of regret and fear crossed Rich’s face. “Wait-”

Dustin launched his foot downwards into Rich’s nose, knocking him back. Rich shouted in pain and covered his nose with his hands. “OW!! What the FUCK was that?!”

The crowd had mixed reactions, ranging from clapping to gasping to straight up cheering.

_“Dustin!”_ Jeremy stood up and gaped at the scene.

Dustin looked back at Jeremy with a look that said: “Did I seriously just do that?”

Michael glanced between Jeremy, Dustin and Rich. When his eyes met Rich, he noticed that there were lines of blood trailing down from behind his hands, presumably from his nose.

“You BITCH!!” Rich growled and started running towards Dustin.

By the time Rich was on the table, ready to throw a fist at Dustin, who was now at the same vertical level as him, Dustin had finished looking at Jeremy, and was facing Rich. Dustin met Rich’s fist with his palm, making a loud clap that echoed through the cafeteria. To complete the combo, Dustin brought his knee up between Rich’s legs, hitting him square in the crotch.

Rich groaned and stumbled back, falling off the table and hitting his head on the floor. It was at this point where Rich realized that more than half of the crowd was filming this by now. He got up and looked around, stopping when he saw Chloe, Brooke, Jenna and Jake.

“Guys! Hey, did you fucking see that? Dustin just decked me over nothing!”

Dustin froze, standing on top of the table. In a matter of seconds, he went from feeling like the strongest guy at school, to the most vulnerable. What were they going to say? Whose side would they be on?

Chloe was the one to break the silence.

“I mean, you kinda had it coming.”

A drop of blood fell from Rich’s lip. “What?”

The crowd was starting to disperse, leaving the cool kids, Michael, and Jeremy.

Chloe put her hand on her hip. “You’ve been harassing him for months now, Richard. He was gonna retaliate eventually. I just didn’t think he’d go and beat the shit out of you.”

“Oh,  _come on!_ He’s the one you should be mad at right now!”

Chloe looked up at Dustin. “Wanna come back to our table, Dustin?”

Dustin nodded as he went down and joined Chloe at her side.

“Guys?” Rich’s anger fizzled out, leaving a mixture of guilt and fear.

Chloe and Dustin turned and walked back to their table. Brooke and Jenna gave Rich disapproving looks before following them, leaving Jake.

Jake Dillinger, Rich’s best bro, his most loyal Boi, Yo. Rich didn’t want to think Jake would leave him, too.

“…Jake…?”

Jake took a step towards Rich, looking uncertain as to what he would say. He made eye contact with Michael, behind Rich. They exchanged a series of looks that probably meant something in their secret language. Eventually, Jake sighed and looked down at Rich.

“Jake, come on, you can’t seriously-”

“You used to be cool.” Jake frowned. “When did you stop being cool?”

Rich wiped his lip with his hand. “What?”

Jake just shook his head and turned his back on Rich, walking back to his table.

Rich had nothing to say.

_When did you stop being cool?_

What did he do wrong? He paid such close attention to what people liked, did he mess up somewhere? …Where would he sit now?

Rich decided to go to the nurse to fix his probably broken nose while he thought about that.

The journey through the cafeteria was lined with countless stares of people who used to respect Rich. For the first time in his life, Rich wanted to be a Dustin Kropp, or a Jake Dillinger, or a Chloe Valentine, fuck, even a Michael Mell.

Anyone but a Rich Goranski.

 

Dustin had fourth period English with Jake, right after lunch. He sat next to Jake, so they would usually goof off the entire class period. Today was a bit different, though. Dustin did not look to be in the goofing off mood.

Jake tapped his shoulder. “Hey, dude. You okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, totally, just a bit shaken up, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” Jake paused. “…Hey, it was super cool, what you did today. Kicking homophobia in the nose is definitely on my bucket list.”

Dustin laughed weakly. “Yeah, it was pretty cool, wasn’t it?”

“It was. Us guy-loving-guys gotta stick together, right? We’re in this together, you and me.” Jake lightly nudged Dustin’s elbow.

“Are we? I mean, we can’t _all_ have the privilege of having it be a secret, can we?”

_**[Record scratch sound effect in Jake’s brain.]** _

“…What?”

Before the statement could work its way through Jake’s thick skull, an announcement echoed over the intercom.

_“Could Dustin Kropp please come to the dean of students’ office? Again, that’s Dustin Kropp to the dean of students’ office, please.”_

The class collectively stared at Dustin. They all knew what this was about.

“Sorry, Jake, gotta go.” Dustin got up, collected his things, and made his exit.

“Oh… Okay, see you later, dude.”

 

[New Message from: freckles!!]  
J: dustin!! holy shit did you get suspended? i heard the announcement  
D: why hello to you too, freckles  
J: sorry, hi  
J: but please answer the question  
D: well i did not get suspended, luckily  
J: …what?  
J: how on earth did you not get suspended  
D: i have a way with words  
J: …hm  
D: also the dean owes me a favor  
J: oh my god  
J: youre ridiculous  
D: you love it  
J: shush  
J: but um  
J: i couldnt help but notice how you didnt respond to anything rich said until he started shittalking me  
D: how strange  
J: you didnt need to do that  
D: oh so you think i broke richs nose to preserve your honor?  
J: no no i just mean  
J: wait  
J: YOU BROKE HIS NOSE???  
D: yes  
J: DUSTIN OH MY GOD  
D: this is dustin how may i help you  
J: hold on  
J: okay im calm now  
J: im just saying that you looked weirdly composed until the end of it  
D: well yeah  
J: why is that?  
D: i cant really afford to oppose rich goranski, freckles  
D: if i get on his bad side he could turn the entire school against me  
J: or thats what you thought  
D: correct  
J: huh  
J: i guess that makes sense  
J: then its a good thing your friends were on your side, right?  
D: thats  
D: sure  
J: what is it?  
D: well like  
D: dont you think they couldve said something earlier  
J: oh  
D: hes been doing this for months they had every opportunity to tell him its not cool  
D: for a while i kinda thought they just thought it was funny  
J: that  
J: really sucks  
D: yup  
J: why would they not say anything?  
D: fuck if i know  
J: jeez  
J: um  
J: wanna hang out after school?  
D: hot offer but im gonna have to say no  
D: im just really busy today sorry  
J: no no dont apologize! dont worry about it  
J: well take a rain check on that then  
D: definitely  
J: alright  
J: see you tomorrow, dustin :)  
D: see you tomorrow freckles

Dustin was lying. He definitely wasn’t busy after school. Unless you count watching The Breakfast Club for the 63rd time with your cat as busy. He just wasn’t really in the mood to aimlessly pine after a guy who couldn’t decide if he was interested or not.

Homecoming was coming up in mid-October. People were starting to ask other people out. Dustin wanted to ask Jeremy, but that’d probably be stupid. Last time Dustin tried to break the sexual tension, Jeremy literally ran away from him. It was best to just leave it be.

Dustin’s phone rang, displaying Chloe’s contact photo. He sighed and picked up. “Yeah?”

“Just going straight to the point: There’s not much to say about the whole Rich incident by now, but I happened to notice that you were sitting over at Michael’s table.”

“Uh… Yeah, I guess I was.”

“Why.”

“God, can’t a guy shake it up sometimes?”

“He has a boyfriend, Dustin.”

_“I know!!_ He’s- I didn’t sit over there because of Michael.”

There was a short silence while Chloe presumably put the puzzle pieces together in her head.

“Hold on,” She began. “Is this about Jerry?”

“His name is Jeremy, and _no_ , this isn’t about him.” Dustin rolled his eyes and pet Mochi as she walked by.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad, tell me all about it.”

“Wh-” Dustin probably turned red, but no one was there to tell him. “-Shut up!! Oh my God, you’re taking such a stab in the dark right now.”

“Maybe, but you’re really obvious when you’re lying about crushes.”

“I’m begging you to stop talking.”

“When did you two meet?”

“I’m not telling you anything.”

“You really want to, though.”

Dustin sighed. She was right. He took a moment to think about it.

“…Okay so it was back at Jake’s party-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW it's been a real long time since I updated this, sorry for the little hiatus there. We're gonna explore Dustin's character more through the rest of this story, which is gonna be a wild ride, because there's a lot to say about him.
> 
> As for the whole non-squipped Rich thing, I just thought it'd be an interesting concept to explore. In all honesty, I really don't think Rich would be anything like this without a SQUIP, but you know. It's just. Interesting.
> 
> ALSO SPECIAL PROMO FOR THE ASKBLOG I DRAW FOR WRITTEN BY MY FRIEND RYAN: https://ask-voices-all-around.tumblr.com/
> 
> It's a BMC au where all the kids have superpowers (it also has homo zone, so thats a plus). Check it out!
> 
> Stick around for Chapter 9 (which I haven't even started yet, oops), The Part Where Michael /u//s Jake


	9. The Part Where Michael Dumps Jake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If this fic were a musical, this would be the end of act 1.
> 
> Lots of things happen.

So, it turns out that dating someone in secret is really fucking easy. All you have to do is keep every date in a private location, and avoid being too affectionate in public, that's it. And Michael loved it just the way it was. It was lowkey, it was private, it was nice.

And Jake felt the same way about it for a while, but something kept nagging at him.

_“We can’t_ all _have the privilege of having it be a secret, can we?”_

Dustin said that.

Why would Dustin say that?

Was there something wrong with secret-dating Michael? Did being in the closet make Jake less gay somehow? Is Dustin mad at him?

These questions circled Jake’s mind as he held Michael in his lap while playing Mario Kart. Now, Jake wasn’t very good at video games in general, but he was so fucking bad at Mario Kart. He wasn’t sure how anyone was able to do this. Normal driving is so much easier.

“You’re thinking about something.” Michael noted as he lapped Jake for the third time that day.

“What?” Jake fell into the abyss off the track for, what, the twelfth time?

“You have that ‘I’m thinking about something somewhat troubling’ look. What are you thinking about?”

“Just… Something Dustin said to me the other day.”

“What’d he say?” Michael paused the game and turned around to look at Jake.

“I told him we’re in this together, because we’re both gay, but he looked at me, and he said ‘Are we? I mean, we can’t _all_ have the privilege of having it be a secret, can we?’”

Widening his eyes, Michael’s mouth hung agape. “Verbatim?”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Verbatim means word-for-word.”

“Oh. Then yes.”

“Wow.” Michael put his controller down and trailed his hands up to Jake’s shoulders. “I get where he’s coming from, but that’s just… holy fuck.”

Jake sighed and leaned his head to the side. “I don’t even know what he means by that, it’s been running around in my head all week.”

“Well…” Michael glanced around the room in thought, then back at Jake. “Being out at school isn’t easy. And for someone like Dustin, with his reputation, it can’t really get much worse than that. I guess he just felt a bit insulted by your attempt at empathy. It probably felt to him like you’re oblivious to his problems, or that you really think you’re suffering the same way he is.”

“Oh…” Jake frowned. “Is there something wrong about not being… out?”

“No! No, no, no, no, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you don’t wanna tell people, for whatever reason, it’s okay, I promise.”

“…Mm.” Jake nodded and wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist.

Something still felt wrong about this for him. It wasn’t like they’d be a secret forever, right? Jake is allowed to tell people at some point… right?

Jake didn’t like his relationship being a secret anymore. It felt less like a secret, and more like a lie.

“I love you.” Michael mumbled. “Am I allowed to say that?”

“Of course you are.” Jake smiled. “I love you too.”

Why did that hurt?  
  
  
  
Something peculiar was happening to Jeremy lately.

Or, more specifically, something peculiar _wasn’t_ happening, and Jeremy found it peculiar.

Jeremy had been crushing on Christine for quite a while now, but ever since they became “friends,” the attraction seemed to… fade? He thought it would be the opposite way, that he would get closer to her and fall deeper for her the closer he got. But he just thought of her as a friend, and it was… fine…?

Christine was a good friend, and Jeremy enjoyed being friends with her. It was nice to have more than one friend.

However, Jeremy’s friendship with Dustin felt like torture. He was so close, but Jeremy was scared to initiate anything. The more time he spent with Dustin, the more Jeremy wanted him. Jeremy worried that his hesitance would turn Dustin away.

They had a weird friendship. Both knew the other was attracted to him, but all they did was increase the sexual tension, making being friends a taxing experience. They didn’t discuss it.

Dustin started to sit at Jeremy’s table more often, much to the amusement of his popular friends. And it wasn’t like Jeremy was complaining. But he kind of was, because sitting with Dustin was… Well, that’s a pretty simple thing to explain.

Jeremy’s really fucking bi for this dude.

And it certainly didn’t help that, as Jeremy got to know him, he found out that Dustin is a _fucking nerd._

It started during lunch, when Jeremy was doing his math homework while eating his fries because he forgot to do his homework the previous night (don’t ask what he was doing). He stared at the problem he copied down and internally face-palmed for being complete shit at math.

Dustin was sitting next to him and leaned over Jeremy’s shoulder to see what he was having trouble with. “…Sine pi over four is root two over two,” was all he said before exiting Jeremy’s shoulder area and going back to whatever he was doing before.

“What?” Jeremy set his pencil down and stared at Dustin.

“Sine pi over four? That problem you’re staring at. It’s root two over two.”

“…Oh.” Jeremy wrote down the answer and thought for a minute. Apparently he was right about Dustin being really smart.

Jeremy got in the habit of doing his math homework during lunch so Dustin could help him. It was his new favorite slightly-manipulative thing to do.

Which was exactly what Jeremy was doing today.

“No, see, the base of the logarithm goes here…” Dustin had effectively stolen Jeremy’s notebook and pencil, basically doing his homework for him.

While Dustin explained everything he was doing, Jeremy was just staring at him, fascinated by how smart Dustin was.

And how good he looked.

Jeremy wasn’t going to deny how hot he thought Dustin was.

Dustin was wearing a leather jacket today.

Jeremy crossed his legs under the table.

Michael and Jake weren’t allowed to sit together, due to their agreement to keep their relationship a secret, but the two would usually spend the entire lunch break texting each other.

And Michael liked it that way.

Jake looked restless today. He wasn’t engaging in the conversation sparking at the cool kids’ table, mostly just staring at the table in thought. The table looked a bit bare without Rich there, but no one seemed to care. It was like Rich never sat there.

Anyway, back to Jake.

The way he looked was cute, but it was kind of concerning.

Michael decided to text him to get to the bottom of it.

@readyplayermell: hey are you okay?

Jake left him on read. Michael waited for a response, but nothing came.

@readyplayermell: jake?

Read again.

 

A few days earlier, Jake was getting Sbarro’s pizza with Dustin at the mall, which is a thing he usually did with Rich, but Rich was officially Cancelled after Dustin broke his nose in the name of gay rights, so… Dustin was filling in, apparently.

_“What are the implications of this?”_ Dustin may have internally asked himself.

He did not know. However, Jake looked kind of bummed, so Dustin would pretend like there was nothing demeaning about being substitute-Rich for just one day.

But if this became a routine thing, he’d have to have a conversation with Jake about thoughtlessly dehumanizing his friends.

Or, more specifically, thoughtlessly dehumanizing his friends who already felt thoughtlessly dehumanized by the general population.

Jake had been quiet for almost ten minutes, just staring at his pizza. That was until Dustin decided to finally speak up.

“Okay, man, did someone die? You look seriously off your vibe.”

“Huh?” Jake blinked and looked up at Dustin. “I… I was gonna say I’m fine, but I’m not.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Jake frowned. “Rich was my best friend, Dustin. And… God, he was really bad for a while, but I just wanted to believe it was fine, you know?” He sighed. “There’s just… Nothing is worse than learning that someone you really care about was bad the whole time.”

Dustin took a moment to remind himself that Jake was not in a good place at the moment. “…Mhm.”

“You probably don’t wanna hear all that, though, I don’t wanna dump all this on you.”

_Yeah, wouldn’t that just be a dick move, to talk about your problems? Anyone who does that must be a complete asshole._

“So,” Jake continued. “Are you gonna ask Jeremy to homecoming?”

Dustin’s face flushed. “Uh- How do you know about Jeremy?”

Jake just laughed. “Everyone knows, Dustin, you ain’t slick.”

 

“Everyone knows, Dustin, you ain’t slick,” Chloe’s voice chimed through Dustin’s phone, which was set on speaker on the foot of his bed so Dustin could pace back and forth around it.

“It’s not my fault, Chloe! I’m giving him every flirtatious routine I have, and he _still_ hasn’t asked me out! What’s the deal with that?!”

“Well,” Chloe clicked her tongue. “Maybe he’s waiting for _you_ to ask _him_ out? God knows that kid’s never asked someone out in his life.”

“I can’t ask him out, are you crazy?”

“Why is that so crazy? You’re both clearly into each other, what are you waiting for?”

“No, it’s- You wouldn’t understand, it’s a gay thing.”

“Is it a gay thing or do you just not want to admit the real reason?”

“I just don’t want to admit the real reason.”

“Well, there it is. Out with it, then.”

“Fine, fine.” Dustin groaned and sat down next to his phone. “I… I don’t want to be put in that position where he’s into me, but he doesn’t want to date me. Like, there are levels to this. And I don’t want to put _him_ in the position where he has to reject someone as stunningly attractive as me because he’s not looking for a relationship! Or something!”

“Wow, ego much?”

“Shut the fuck up, you gave me this ego.”

“Point taken. Look, do you want him?”

“That’s an objectifying way to put it, but sure.”

“Then ask him out. If he says no, you move on with your life. If he says yes, you get a date with him. It’s not like this is a life or death scenario here.”

Dustin sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right. Now, if you don’t mind, I have other romantic dynamics to save with other, equally incompetent men.” Chloe hung up and put her phone in her pocket, looking back at Jake from across her living room.

“Wow, did you just put our conversation on hold to call Dustin about his romantic escapades? Right in front of me?” Jake chuckled and settled into the couch.

Chloe shrugged. “I mean, yeah, I figured you should know that you and Michael aren’t the only pining idiots in the universe. Anyway, you were saying?”

“Right.” Jake got back on track. “So, I’m just wondering, what do you think the public reception would be if I told everyone about me and Michael?”

“I don’t think anyone would cancel you or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about. People would probably be happy for you, and the ones who wouldn’t be happy to you aren’t people whose opinions you should care about.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So are you and Michael planning on going public?” Chloe migrated to the couch, a respectable distance away from Jake.

“Oh, um… No. No, we haven’t really talked about that. At all.” Jake stared down at his lap, unable to look Chloe in the eye.

Chloe squinted at him, as if she would see him better that way. “Then why are you asking me what would happen if you and him _did_ go public? You’re not planning on telling everyone without talking to him first, are you?”

“No! No, no, that’d be stupid. I just… I wanna know what’d be waiting for me if we ever decide to go public.”

“So you asked me if you could come over to talk about this hypothetical situation that probably won’t happen?”

Jake almost looked… hurt? “Wait, do you really think it won’t happen?”

“No- I mean, yes- I mean, _I don’t know._ But Michael wanted it to be a secret because he doesn’t like that kind of attention. I can’t imagine why, but he just doesn’t want to be a public figure. Not to mention, being your boyfriend in public is quite a task, Jacob.”

Jake cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“Like, even after we broke up for the third time, people are still asking me ‘Chloe, how’s Jake? Do you wanna get back together with him? You two were so cute!’ God, Trysha, it’s 2019, hot girls are single sometimes, not that you would know anything about that!” Chloe realized she was getting off track and cleared her throat. “Anyway. Don’t do anything stupid without talking to Michael first. Better yet, just don’t do anything stupid.”

Jake let out a nervous laugh. “Wow, okay.”

 

Dustin let out a nervous laugh. “Wow, okay.” He leaned forward on their table and whispered: “You mean… everybody knows?”

“Well, not _everybody_ everybody, just… everybody.” Jake gestured vaguely with his hands.

“…What does that even mean?”

Jake took a bite out of his slice of pizza and gave Dustin a look. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you gonna ask Jeremy to homecoming?”

“Oh, uh…” Dustin scrunched up his nose, realizing that he never even thought about this. “I mean, I don’t know, usually people only ask other people to homecoming if they’re dating-”

“What better way to ask someone out?” Jake had a bright smile. He was always happy to help out in other people’s affairs, which Dustin lovingly referred to as ‘meddling’.

“I… I guess you’re right. I dunno, I’ll think about it.” Dustin stored the idea for later. “What about you and Michael? I mean, with you two being a secret and everything, high school dances might be a bit of a hassle.”

Jake’s smile fell. “…We haven’t really talked about it. Personally, I _really_ wanna go to homecoming, especially with Michael, but I’m not sure if that’s really Michael’s scene.”

“Why not just ask him?”

“Oh, um, I mean, I-”

“-Hold that thought.” Dustin checked his phone and got up from his seat. “I am so sorry, but I have a deal set up a couple blocks away from here, is it okay if we continue this conversation later? I swear, I would keep hanging out with you if I could, but I’ve got a business to run.”

“No, don’t worry about it! Go and do that, I can just take this pizza home.”

“Thank you so much.” Dustin gave Jake a fist-bump and left in a light jog, as to not draw attention by straight-up running.

Jake sighed and looked down at his pizza. “Well, I guess it’s just you and me, pepperoni-”

“Jake?”

Jake looked around and saw Michael standing at the entrance to the Sbarro’s pizza, conveniently located at the mall. “Michael?”

“Jake!” Michael ran over and joined Jake at the table, sitting where Dustin was a few seconds ago. “I was just getting some Crystal Pepsi over at Spencer’s, what are you doing at a Sbarro’s all alone?”

“I was just hanging out with Dustin, but he had to go, so… Here I am.” He laughed and leaned over to kiss Michael’s cheek. “How are you?”

“I’m certainly better now. Want some Crystal Pepsi?” Michael pulled out an unlabelled 1-liter bottle of what looked like carbonated water, but was apparently Crystal Pepsi.

“What does it taste like? Also, what is it?” Jake stared at the bottle, not entirely sure how legal its existence was.

“It’s Crystal Pepsi, Jake. And it probably just tastes like normal Pepsi, minus the opacity.”

“Minus the what?”

“Just try it!” Michael shifted the bottle across the table, towards Jake.

Jake laughed and unscrewed the cap from the bottle. “Alright, weirdo.” He brought the bottle to his lips and took a sip. After a few seconds of thinking about what he just tasted, he put the bottle back down. “Wow, you’re right, that’s just Pepsi minus the opacity.”

“Right?”

“Where did you say you got this?” Jake slid the bottle back over to Michael.

Michael took the bottle and stuffed it in his bag. “Spencer’s Gifts.”

“And how much did you pay for that?”

“Like $50, I think.”

Jake blinked. “…For a bottle of Pepsi.”

“Correction: A bottle of _Crystal_ Pepsi.”

“You paid $50 for a bottle of Pepsi minus opacity.”

“Yes.”

Jake just laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love it.” Michael laughed with him.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jake switched gears. “Hey, um, what’s your opinion on homecoming?”

“Homecoming?” Michael tilted his head. “Well, I guess if the right person asked me, it’d be pretty fun.”

_Yes!!_ “So what would you say if someone asked you?”

“They’d have to ask me to find out.” Michael smirked and drank from the $50 bottle.

 

That conversation is what Jake was restless about in the cafeteria a few days after.

@readyplayermell: jake i can see that you read my texts whats going on?

Jake locked his phone and stared at its blank screen while deliberating on what he wanted to do.

_He’ll love it, it’ll be romantic. Just do it, that’s what Nike and John Cena would say._

_Just do it._

Michael watched Jake from afar, incredibly concerned about him. He saw Jake stare down at his phone for a while, then stand up. He saw Jake climb on top of his lunch table and stand up, bringing the conversation to a halt. He saw Jake’s friends ask him what he was doing. He saw Jake try to get the attention of the cafeteria.

“Excuse me! Hi, everyone, can I get your attention, please?” His voice rang through the room, stopping everything else that was happening. Suddenly, all eyes were on Jake.

The cafeteria was silent, waiting to hear what he wanted to say.

“Thank you, dudes. Now, um… As you all know, homecoming is coming up, and… I haven’t really asked anyone yet. But I want to.”

_What is he doing?_

“See, I’ve kind of been seeing someone lately, and I think I’m seriously in love here, guys. Everytime I see their face, my heart just warms up a little bit, and I can’t help but smile when I think about them.”

_What the fuck is he doing. No, no, sit back down, Jake. Sit down. Just sit down, I swear to God-_

Jake looked over at Michael from his perch on the cool kids’ table. “He’s my world. I’m in love with you, Michael Mell. Will you go to homecoming with me?”

The cafeteria exchanged whispers of “Oh my God,” “Michael Mell?” “Jake is gay?”

Suddenly, all eyes were on Michael.

Michael took a deep breath in, then let it out. He stood up and crossed the cafeteria to Jake’s table. With each step, he grew more anxious. When he was close enough to Jake, he grabbed the end of his sleeve and pulled him down from the table. Michael’s expression was unreadable until Jake was on the floor, when it became clear that he was _pissed_.

_“What is your problem?!”_ Michael whispered. The entire cafeteria was listening, trying desperately to hear what Michael was saying.

Jake’s smile disappeared, being replaced by pure confusion. “What?”

“We agreed that this would be a secret, what the fuck were you thinking?!”

“I thought you wanted me to ask you to homecoming-”

“ _Privately!!_ I wanted you to ask me _privately!_ Did you think I’d find a blatant betrayal of my trust _romantic?!”_

“I… I didn’t think of it that way…”

“Well that’s what it is, Jake.” Michael was starting to get louder. “God- I’m so fucking mad at you right now, what is _wrong_ with you?!”

“Michael-”

_“Don’t.”_ Michael clenched his fists, turning his knuckles white. “I cannot fucking believe you. What did I explicitly say at the start of this relationship?”

“That… You don’t want this kind of attention.” Jake felt very small all of a sudden.

_“Exactly!_ This isn’t _romantic,_ you idiot!! It's horrible, and it's completely inconsiderate! And since you’re such a fan of public statements…” Adrenaline flowed through Michael’s blood, fueling his rage. He climbed on top of Jake’s table and glared down at him. “JAKE DILLINGER, I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!”

Jake was speechless. What could he say? There was no coming back from this, he’d dug himself his own grave.

Michael stepped down and stormed out of the cafeteria. Everyone watched as Michael Mell set Jake Dillinger’s heart ablaze and shot its ashes in front of the whole school.

“…Holy shit.” Dustin broke the silence, looking at Jeremy. “What was that?”

Jeremy got up from his seat. “You should go help Jake, I’m gonna find Michael.” He ran off in the direction Michael went.

The cafeteria started to erupt into conversation once more, the silence dying.

Dustin returned to the cool kids’ table just as Jake sat back down. “Dude, are you okay?”

Jake was still in shock, the emotional impact not hitting him yet. “…I am such an idiot.”

“You’re not-”

“Yeah, you are.” Chloe cut Dustin off. “That was really stupid.”

Jake just nodded. “…Oh God…”

The emotional impact hit him.

“I am such an _idiot._ ”

 

[New message from: Dustin???]  
D: hey  
J: hey  
D: hows michael holding up  
J: idk i havent found him yet  
D: damn  
J: what about jake?  
D: well, hes stupid and doesnt really think about other peoples feelings  
D: but at least hes not a jerk  
D: stupid people can learn to not be stupid  
D: jerks dont really change  
J: preach  
J: i hope he feels better soon  
D: dude hes not coming back from this for a while  
D: me and the gang are gonna have to play life support group for a while  
J: did you just say life support group  
D: yes  
J: wow  
D: yup  
J: thats actually really clever  
D: thats me  
D: clever mcgee  
J: lmao  
D: anyway  
D: are you going to homecoming?  
J: what?  
J: i mean  
J: probably  
J: i dont have a date but probably  
D: oh same  
J: i find that hard to believe  
D: ?  
J: that a guy like you doesnt have a date to homecoming  
D: well i dont >:P  
J: are you thinking of asking anybody?  
D: uh  
D: i mean idk  
D: what about you?  
J: dustin i cant ask people to a high school dance i dont have the braincells  
D: do you want some of mine  
J: depends, do you have any?  
D: no  
J: oh my god  
J: i actually laughed out loud  
D: a literal lol?  
J: DUSTIN!!  
D: yes? :3c  
J: youre  
J: fuck you  
J: youre hilarious  
D: yeah i know  
J: oh shit i found michael  
D: you did?  
J: yeah  
D: go support your boy, dude  
J: i will  
D: see you later, freckles  
J: later :)

Jeremy found Michael sitting against the wall outside the cafeteria, his headphones covering his ears. He sat next to him and tapped his shoulder.

Michael pulled his headphones down and looked at Jeremy, his eyes looking wet.

“You okay?”

Michael turned away, looking down at his lap. “…Did I make the wrong choice?”

Jeremy took a few seconds to think about that. “I don’t think so,” He decided. “It wasn’t fair of him to force your relationship into publicity without talking to you about it. It was kind of a dick move, honestly.”

Michael laughed weakly. “…Yeah…”

“…You still like him, don’t you?”

Michael was silent.

Jeremy put his hand on Michael’s shoulder. “…It’s okay to feel that way. However you feel right now, it’s okay.”

“I’m mad.”

“I know you are.”

“Not just at Jake,” Michael clarified.

Jeremy lifted an eyebrow.

“I’m mad at _myself,_ Jeremy. If I weren’t so scared of attention, I would’ve said yes, and Jake would’ve been happy, and we could be happy together.” Michael rubbed his thumb along the side of his phone, his nail catching the case.

“You were honest with him, though. You told him you didn’t want to be public, and him not respecting that means he doesn’t respect _you_. This isn’t your fault.”

Michael didn’t say anything.

“It’s not your fault, Michael.” Jeremy insisted.

“I know.” Michael’s voice was quiet, and tired.

Jeremy wrapped his arm around Michael into a side-hug. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Michael nodded. “I know.”

“I’m here for you.”

“I know.”

So, it turns out that dating someone in secret isn’t as easy as Michael thought.

And Michael hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY OKAY FOLKS
> 
> so that was the end of the first half of this fic, as indicated by the summary, but we still have 8 more chapters to go before were finished. this chapter isnt actually the longest so far (that goes to chapter 7) but it kinda feels like it is because so many things happen i guess? anyway, check in next time for Chapter 10: Net Zero


	10. Net Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Michael and Jake get emotional support from their friends and "friends", even though, let's be honest, all of these kids need therapy.

The cool kids’ table looked strange with only one boy there.

Normally, Jake and Rich contributed to the male population, but since Rich was cancelled, and Jake's been holed up in his house for the past three days after Michael dumped him, Dustin was the only guy left.

And, honestly, Jeremy did not notice, mostly because he's been too busy staring at Dustin.

Oh, yeah, that was another thing: Jeremy's been staring at Dustin a lot lately.

Whenever Dustin sat at the cool kids' table, Jeremy spent the entirety of lunch straight up staring at him. It wasn’t subtle, and it wasn’t making it any easier for Jeremy to function as a human being.

Especially today.

Because today, Dustin was wearing a leather jacket.

It was _amazing_ staring material. He looked so _rugged_ , like he just got back from surviving the apocalypse, like someone from the Fallout series. Jeremy imagined him with sand blowing in his face, grimacing as he held the decapitated head of an irradiated cockroach or something horrific like that.

Horrific and tantilizingly fascinating to a young teen gamer’s bisexual mind.

Another thing: Dustin wasn't wearing a snapback today.

His hair looked a bit messy, some of it falling in front of his face, just above his dark, brown eyes. It made Jeremy want to-

Michael snapped his fingers in front of Jeremy’s face. “Yo, Earth to Jeremy.”

Jeremy blinked and tore his eyes away from Dustin. “Wha-Yeah? Huh? I was paying attention!”

Michael gave Jeremy a look, like Jim in The Office _._ “Dude, you’ve been staring at Dustin for thirteen minutes, I don’t think I even saw you blink. And the way you unsubtly crossed your legs six minutes in made me massively uncomfortable, but I was fine for seven more minutes, until you started doing that thing with your lip.”

It was times like this that made Jeremy wish he could turn invisible at will.

“What-what thing?”

“The- This thing.” Michael squinted and tucked his lip under his teeth, sliding it to one side until it came back out from under his teeth.

Jeremy watched the process, getting increasingly concerned. “I _do that?”_

 _“All the time,_ dude! Whenever you stare at Dustin-”

“I don’t stare at Dustin!”

Michael gave him that look again.

Jermey backed down. “…Okay, whatever, go on.”

Michael rolled his eyes and kept going. “Whenever you stare at Dustin, you eventually bite your lip in that gross, sensual way, and what the fuck, how have you not noticed this?”

“I-…I don’t know…”

“Anyway, Jeremy, you know that he likes you, right?”

Jeremy went bright red. “I… I mean, yeah, but-”

“So what are you waiting for?”

Jeremy opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came to him. He thought about it for a minute.

“I… Um… I guess pining just feels safe?”

Michael shifted to his side a little and leaned towards Jeremy. “That’s valid, but I’m pretty sure you’d be able to use your brain more if you just asked the guy out. I mean, it’s not like he’d say no.”

Jeremy looked down and shrugged. “Um…” _Change the subject, I hate this so much._ “Are you alright?”

“I can tell you’re changing the subject on purpose, but fine, I’m alright. Starting to get a bit worried about Jake, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“He hasn’t been at school for three days now.” Michael lowered his voice, as if anyone was listening in the first place.

Jeremy looked up and at the cool kids’ table.

_Huh._

“…I don’t think I noticed…”

Michael smirked at him. “I wonder why.”

Jeremy scowled and threw a fry at Michael’s dumb face.

   
  


Later that day, Dustin knocked on Jake’s door for about the fifth time tonight. Ever since he was dumped, Jake stayed home every second of the day, not even going to school, and everyone was starting to get a bit concerned. Dustin was the first one to finally decide to do anything about it.

“Jake!! You’ve been gone for three days, open the damn door!!”

He heard a groan from far within the house, then a long shuffling that slowly got closer to the door. The door eventually opened, revealing a Jake Dillinger who Dustin barely recognized.

Jake looked like a mess. The bags under his eyes almost hid the tear stains that went down his cheeks, and it looked like he’d been wearing the same shirt for days. Wait, was that the shirt Jake wore the day Dustin last saw him?

Dustin recoiled back and looked up at Jake. “Dude, when was the last time you took a shower?”

“Uh…” Jake scratched the back of his head. “I don’t really know. Wait, why are you here?”

Dustin gave him a look. “Because you’ve been holed up in your house for days, and I’m your friend.”

“…Hm.” Jake stepped aside, giving Dustin space to come in.

“Okay, first things first,” Dustin made his entrance into Jake’s house and grabbed his wrist. _“You,_ my friend, are taking a shower.”

Jake blinked. “What?”

“You’re a mess, Jacob. And as your only gay friend, it’s up to me to Queer Eye you into self care.” Dustin dragged Jake through the house, taking him to the bathroom.

“I just thought we would play Uno or something-”

“Do I look like a force to be trifled with? First you shower, then we talk about your feelings.” Dustin shoved Jake into the bathroom and closed the door, leaving Jake inside, and Dustin out.

Jake just sighed. He turned on the water in the shower and adjusted the heat until it was hot enough.

Why has he been avoiding going to school? It wasn’t like he was afraid of seeing Michael or anything, he’s gotten so used to seeing his exes all the time, it was practically his job to be in the vicinity of people he’s gone out with.

He just didn’t have the motivation to… do things. It was like this weight was holding him down, but there was no physical weight there to physically keep Jake from physically doing physical things, which made Jake feel stupid for not being able to do stuff.

Maybe there was something really wrong with him.

   
  


Earlier that day, Michael walked into sixth period tech theatre and, as usual, sat as far away from Chloe as possible. Then, as usual, Chloe unsubtly migrated to the seat directly to the left of Michael's.

"Afternoon, Nineties." Chloe started a new game of Candy Crush on her phone.

Michael didn't make eye contact. "Why are you still talking to me?"

"Just because you dumped my ex, doesn't mean I can't interact with you, idiot."

Michael rolled his eyes as he took out his DS. It was one of those days where Mr. Reyes wasn't in a teaching mood, so everyone got to fuck around for an hour.

Actually… "Hey, where's Mr. Reyes?" Michael looked around, but the teacher was out of sight.

Almost on cue, Mr. Reyes entered the theatre/classroom with a hot pocket in hand, engaging in gossip with some freshman who was eager to appeal to him. The two looked over at Michael and whispered a series of hushed observations.

Michael groaned and tried to hide his face in his hood.

“Yeah,” Chloe patted Michael’s shoulder. “Everybody knows about you and Jake now, it’s kind of amazing.”

Michael turned to Chloe. “What the hell does _that_ mean?”

“Because now everybody wants _you_ to get back together with Jake instead of me! It’s so refreshing, I just get to be single for a while without anyone questioning it.” Chloe gave Mr. Reyes a look, causing him to cower away to his desk.

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

Chloe waited until Mr. Reyes looked away, then put her hand on Michael’s arm. “I’m sorry about what Jake did. Someone needs to apologize to you for that, and Jake’s too busy wallowing in misery to do that, so… Sorry. It was really shitty of him to do that, and you deserve better.”

Michael was almost surprised, but he was a bit numb to that by now. “…Yeah. I do deserve better than that.”

Chloe briefly checked her calendar on her phone. She paused, then turned towards Michael. “Me and Brooke are going to the mall after school today. Do you wanna come?”

“Um-” Michael was a bit caught off-guard by that. Since when did Chloe want to hang out with him? It was weird. This whole thing was weird. He thought about it for a little bit, then finally decided: “Yeah, I guess so.”

“See you after school, then." Chloe crossed her legs and looked back at her phone, disengaging from Michael.

That was weird.

   
  


Jake came out of the shower in a different outfit (which Dustin prepared for him), and immediately heard a pair of voices coming from his living room, one of which he identified as Dustin's. He rounded the corner in the hall, walking in on their conversation.

"-And it's like, I get it, 'friend' is a strong word, but I've known her for, what, three years now? She should've invited me!"

"I hear ya, sister-" Dustin turned and saw Jake. "Oh, hey, you've bathed."

"Yup. Hi, Jenna." Jake waved.

Jenna smiled and waved back. "Hey, Jake! Oh my God, I'm so sorry about the thing with Michael, everyone's so worried about you!" For once, Jake noted, Jenna didn't have her phone at the ready.

Jake sat down, forming a triangle between the three. "It's not like the world ended, don't make a scene."

Something about him seemed off.

"Hey, um…" Dustin cocked his head to the side. "How're you feeling?"

Jake shrugged. "I dunno, I'm fine, I guess."

Jenna and Dustin shared a look, then turned back to Jake. "Uh, no you're not."

"Yeah, man," Jenna continued. "The way Michael dumped you was _brutal,_ it's not easy to come back from something like that. Also, someone who's 'fine' doesn't hide away in their house for three days and never responds to anyone's texts."

"I don't know what to tell you guys, I'm fine." Jake's left hand curled into a fist. "I made a stupid decision, and Michael dumped me for it, what else is there to say on the matter?"

"Jake." Dustin put his hand on Jake's knee. "It's okay to talk about it."

Jake made eye contact with Dustin for a single second. In that one second, Jake knew Dustin could see right through him. Dustin was too smart to be fooled by Jake’s insistence on being fine. That was the thing about Dustin: He was almost _too good_ at analyzing people, figuring out what makes them tick. Dustin probably knew every secret Jake held close to his chest, even though Jake’s never told him anything.

It was terrifying.

Dustin squinted slightly and leaned closer, getting a better look at Jake. They say that eyes are the window to the soul. If that were the case, Dustin just cracked Jake’s soul right open, dissecting it like the corpse of a frog in a 9th grade biology class.

Jenna was a bit put off by the show of psychoanalysis unfolding before her. “…Maybe we should play a board game!”

Jake pried his eyes away from Dustin’s and stood up. “Yeah, lemme get one.” He fled to the hallway, definitely uncomfortable after the _look_ Dustin had when their eyes met.

Dustin watched Jake leave, a curious glint in his eyes. “He is a Jenga tower of sadness.”

“What?” Jenna lowered her voice so Jake wouldn’t hear.

“Did you see him? He’s one hit away from crumbling.”

“Yeah, that part was obvious.” Jenna scooted ever-so-slightly closer to Dustin.

Dustin turned to her with an unreadable expression. “Well, you know what that means.”

Jenna paused, then shook her head. “No, I really don’t.”

_“We gotta topple that tower until his emotions are pouring out, sizzling on the burning inferno of grief.”_

Jenna just stared at Dustin for a little bit. Her vocal chords finally started working again after a pause.

“Jesus fucking Christ, dude.”

   
  


After school, Michael crossed the student parking lot with Jeremy, having completely forgotten about Chloe's invitation. They were halfway there to Michael's car when a navy blue minivan drove by and stopped in front of them.

The window on the side facing them, the driver's side, rolled down, revealing Chloe Valentine with one hand on the steering wheel, and Brooke Lohst behind her in the passenger seat.

"Get in, loser, we're going shopping."

Jeremy turned to Michael. "What?" He whispered.

"…Oh my God, I forgot about this.” Michael leaned forward, towards Chloe. “Hey, I’m sorry, I kinda told Jeremy I’d hang out with him, so-”

“Great, he can come, too.” Chloe hung her elbow out of the window.

“I-” Jeremy was quickly cut off.

“Dustin might come.”

“-I’m in!” Jeremy grinned, taking an immediate figurative 180. “Let’s go, Michael!”

Michael shrugged and got into the backseat, Jeremy following him close behind.

The drive to the mall mostly consisted of a back and forth between Chloe and Brooke about drama that Michael didn’t understand. Apparently someone named Cameron Overholt dumped someone named Lucille Eastwood because Lucille Eastwood was cheating on Cameron Overholt with someone named Gabriel Rodriguez (Who isn’t the same person as someone named Gabriel Riemann, apparently that’s worth pointing out).

Michael almost found it impressive how much Chloe and Brooke cared about the personal lives of these three people they obviously weren’t friends with (Which Michael gathered from the fact that they exclusively referred to them by their full names).

The moment there was a lull in the conversation, Jeremy decided to pipe in: “Chloe, you said Dustin was coming, right?”

“Uh,” Chloe made eye contact with Jeremy, her eyes reflected in the mirror above the dashboard. “I said he _might_ come, by which I meant that I _invited_ him to come, and he hasn’t responded yet.”

Jeremy was certainly intimidated by Chloe, but he knew that he needed to be friends with Dustin’s friends if his infatuation was going to lead to anything substantial. So, if he had to swallow his fears in order to get into closer proximity to Dustin, he’d do it.

“Have you checked?” He sounded a tad desperate.

Chloe just glanced over at Brooke, then back at the road. “Brooke, check the group chat, see if Dustin responded yet.”

Brooke nodded and unlocked her phone. A few seconds later, she was leaning over the side of her seat and turning back towards Jeremy, the motion causing her long blonde hair to fall over her shoulder. “He said he couldn’t come, sorry Jerry.” She frowned.

“What? Why not?!”

Brooke read from her phone. “Something about being emotional support for Jake.”

Jeremy sighed and slouched in his seat. “Dammit…”

“Seems like someone _really_ wanted Dustin to come.” Chloe looked more than amused.

Jeremy’s face went bright red. “I-! We’re just friends, and I guess I was just- just looking forward to hanging out with him!”

Everyone else in the car looked at him knowingly.

“Don’t- don’t _look at me like that!!”_ Jeremy’s face somehow got more red, sweat starting to sneak down over his cheeks.

“Damn, both of you are such idiots.” Chloe half-grinned while slowly shaking her head.

“Wait, what does that mean?”

“We’ll talk about that later. Here we are!” Chloe parked just outside the mall.

Michael was just kind of watching that whole exchange descend into chaos, and looked out the window when Chloe parked. The first thing he noticed was the Starbucks close to their parking spot. Michael had never been in a Starbucks before, mostly because of his Hipster Code.

But, then again, if he could date Jake Dillinger of all people for a month, he could get coffee from a fucking Starbucks.

Hopefully, coffee from a fucking Starbucks wouldn’t make a show of publicly asking him to homecoming.

Pretty soon, the four were exiting the car and following Chloe into the Starbucks, because of course that’s the first place Chloe would want to go. Chloe’s claimed to be “not one of those basic bitches who makes Starbucks a part of her life” in the past, so Michael was curious as to what she would order.

Chloe ended up getting something with an Italian-sounding name and about 20 different specifications, then paying for it with a Starbucks app on her phone.

Apparently, Chloe Valentine is full of shit.

Jeremy and Michael both ordered vanilla frappuccinos, Jeremy reasoning that “They’re pretty much milkshakes, right?”, which Brooke and Chloe had _a lot_ to say about.

Speaking of Brooke, when she was ordering, she sent Chloe a quick look. Chloe nodded, and Brooke turned back to the barista and confirmed that, yes, that was what she was ordering, and she wasn’t going to start over.

After everyone got their drinks, Chloe took them all out to a table outside. When she sat down, she immediately looked at Jeremy. “Did you see that leather jacket Dustin wore today?”

Michael made a show of rolling his eyes. “Oh, he saw it.”

Jeremy stared down at his drink, so that no one would be able to see how red he was. “I- I mean- Yeah, it was a good jacket…”

Chloe snickered and leaned forward. “I’ve seen how you look at him.”

Jeremy wanted the ground to swallow him up _right now, please._

He was saved by Brooke gasping at something on her phone. “Oh my God!!”

Chloe turned towards Brooke. “What is it?”

“Jenna’s third annual sexy poll came out!”

Michael tilted his head. “I’m sorry, her _what?”_

Brooke set her phone down. “Every year-”

Chloe cut her off. “-Every year, Jenna puts up a poll on her main on Instagram that asks who the sexiest student at Middleborough is. Whoever gets the most votes is honored at the hottest kid at Middleborough for the rest of the year. Freshman year, it was Jake, last year, it was me- Oh fuck I can’t keep up the tension, who won this year??”

Brooke picked her phone back up and scrolled down, biting her lip in anticipation.

“…Woah.”

Jeremy tried to look at her phone. “What is it? Who won?”

Brooke turned her phone around and showed her screen to the rest of the party.

It was one of those Instagram posts with multiple pictures that you had to scroll through. The first picture said “SEXY POLL 2019” with some emojis around it.

Brooke scrolled to the next picture.

There was a slightly blurry picture of Michael with text on it that said “3RD PLACE: MICHAEL MELL”

“Oh shit.” Michael muttered.

Brooke scrolled to the next picture.

The photo was a cropped image of Chloe and Brooke holding frozen yogurt, centered on Brooke. “2ND PLACE: BROOKE LOHST”

Chloe had an unreadable expression, while Brooke looked ecstatic. She scrolled again.

The last image was a surprisingly high quality photo someone caught of Dustin kicking Rich in the nose.

“1ST PLACE: DUSTIN KROPP”

Chloe let out a _“What?”_

Everyone looked at her.

Brooke was the one to break the silence, after putting her phone away. “He _is_ the best dressed guy at school, Chloe. Also, that time he kicked Rich in the nose really caught people’s attention-”

“I know! I just thought that if _you_ got second, I would get first!”

Everyone was silent again.

What the fuck.

Chloe sighed and got up. “Come on, let’s go get whatever Forever 21 is selling for two dollars before they go out of business.”

   
  


“Pay up, Rolan.”

Jenna groaned and handed Dustin four-hundred fake Monopoly dollars.

For someone so outwardly anti-totalitarian, Dustin was surprisingly good at Monopoly. He seemed to be having a good time, but he routinely glanced at Jake for some split-second psychoanalysis, while Jenna tried to distract both of them with the game.

“So, Jake, did you check the poll?” Jenna organized her fake money, for comfort’s sake.

“What poll?”

“The 3rd annual sexy poll, duh.”

“Oh, no I didn’t, lemme check.” Jake got out his phone and checked the post while moving his piece across the board. “…Huh. Congrats, Dustin.”

“Thank you, Jacob. What’s your favorite color?”

“Yellow, why?”

“What’s your favorite movie?”

“Air Bud. The entire series.”

“Where’s your favorite place in the whole universe?”

“Sbarro’s.”

“What was the first thing you did today?”

“I cried for half an hour- FUCK.”

Dustin sat up and dropped his board piece like one would drop a mic. “Boom! I knew you were miserable!”

Jake groaned and covered his face with his hands.

Dustin leaned over the board and put his hands on Jake’s shoulders. “Your heart’s been cracked open, Jake, it’s time to spill its contents out into the world for us to see.”

“What the _fuck,_ Dustin?” Jake put his hands down.

“What’s the scariest thing a man can do?”

“…I dunno, referencing a meme that died months ago?”

“False. The correct answer is _talking about his feelings.”_

“NO!!!” Jake shoved Dustin back.

“SPILL YOUR GUTS, JACOB.”

“NEVER-”

Dustin leapt over the board and tackled Jake, pinning him to the floor. “TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.”

Jenna yelped and pulled out her phone, starting to record this gorgeous altercation.

“BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW!!”

“I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THEM OUT LOUD INSTEAD OF READING THEM IN HIEROGLYPHS DEEP WITHIN YOUR PUPILS.”

“WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??”

“IT MEANS IT’S TIME TO VENT THAT BORON TRICHLORIDE AND GET SOME FRESH AIR, _BRO.”_

Dustin and Jake stared at each other for a few seconds.

And then their lips were crashing into each other. Something about yelling at each other about emotional honesty while one of them was pinning the other to the floor made the air so _tense._

Jenna gasped. “OhmyGod-”

But Dustin quickly scrunched up his face like he’s eaten a lemon as he pulled away. “Ew. Your lips taste like depression, I think I just lost some serotonin.”

“And you’re _way_ too good at kissing, it makes me feel insecure.” Jake wiped his lips and shook his head.

“Normally, I’d be all for making Jake Dillinger insecure by being better than him at all things intimate as a form of shame-rebounding after a messy break up, but I’m kind of committed to a pining situation here with one _very_ bisexual virgin.” Dustin got off of Jake and dusted off his shirt.

Jake sat up. “Wait, so you just came here to make me feel better and talk about my feelings?”

“Yeah, pretty much, Brotel Calibronia.”

Jake looked down at his lap, speechless.

Dustin examined his face. “…Oh no, don’t you dare fall in love with me.”

“No! No, sorry, I’m just- …I’m depressed, Dustin.”

“Um, yeah, duh, I know.”

“Wh-” Jake looked up and glared at Dustin. “How did you know when I don’t?!”

“Your boyfriend dumped you in front of the whole school and you’ve been hiding in your house for three days, I’d have to have the intelligence of, like, an _average_ teenage boy with perfect hair to not know how depressed you are.” Dustin accentuated the point by running a hand through his undeniably perfect hair.

Jenna just sat there, recording the conversation.

“Okay, Dustin ‘I’m so fucking smart’ Kropp, what do I do?”

Dustin shrugged. “You recognize your achievements and appreciate the little things. Like, hey, today you admitted to being depressed and took a shower!”

Jake pressed his lips into a thin line. “That’s not a lot, though.”

“However,” Dustin continued. “It is _something_. And that’s more than what your brain wants to do.”

“…Huh. I guess you’re right.”

“Yeah, I’m literally always right, get used to it.”

Jake smiled. “You’re a good friend, Dustin.”

Dustin raised his eyebrows and smirked. “Damn right I am. I’m also an amazing kisser.”

“Yes, that too, it’s kind of frightening.”

   
  


Michael, Jeremy, Chloe and Brooke had split off when they got to Forever 21. Michael was with Brooke, and Jeremy was with Chloe.

Chloe flipped through clothing hangers with tanktops hanging from them. “Can you fucking believe that, Jerry? _Brooke_ gets second and _Dustin_ gets first? Yeah, whatever, he rocks those crop tops, and him kicking Rich in the nose in the name of gay rights _definitely_ turned 75% of the student population on, and the 25% wasn’t watching. But who has the literal title of ‘hottest girl at school?’ Me! But now _Brooke’s_ the hottest girl?! What’s the deal with that??”

Jeremy waited for her to finish. “…Oh, you’re done. Um… Shouldn’t you be happy for her?”

“Of course I’m happy for her! I’m just also questioning the auto-correct of less than 50% of the voters’ phones.”

Jeremy decided that there was no way he’d change Chloe’s mind about this. So… “…Dustin deserved to get first. He’s _really hot.”_

Chloe nodded. “He is! How is that fair?”

“He’s really cool…”

Chloe started laughing.

“What? What is it?”

Chloe calmed herself and set a stack of tanktops down, turning to Jeremy. “Do you want to hear about how I met Dustin Kropp?”

Jeremy blinked. “…Yes.”

“Well…”

   
  


It was September 24th, the beginning of freshman year at Middleborough High, and Chloe Valentine was having the time of her fucking life. She climbed the social ladder like it was a step-ladder in the home of a very bored toddler, she snatched up a hot guy from a middle school she didn’t go to, and she knew what marijuana smelled like.

Basically, she was living her best life. And she was now at the sixth high school party of her life, only one month into school, this one being hosted by her hot high school boyfriend.

Apparently, Jake got the weed and booze from just one guy, every time:

Dustin Kropp.

Chloe imagined him as a murderous Christian Slater, trenchcoating his way around the back of the school, wrapping up the naive students and smoking them like a joint.

Joint. That was a word Chloe knew. It means cigarette, but with weed.

She’s just never seen this Dustin Kropp at any of the parties she went to, despite the fact that she knows Dustin caters for all of them. With illegal things.

It was at this point where Chloe spied an adorably short boy with messy, unperfect hair and comically large glasses, drinking beer _out of a vase._

Clearly, this boy wasn’t meant to be at a party like this one.

He was staring at something across the room.

Chloe followed his stare and saw Jake, dancing incoherently to some song that was relevant at the time.

_…Oh fuck no, girl, that shit ain’t happening tonight._

Chloe stormed over to the boy, who, as she now noted, was wearing a shirt with Pokemon on it.

“Stop staring at Jake, homewrecker.”

The boy spit his beer back into his vase. “I- …Wait, do I know you?”

 _“Um.”_ Chloe put her hands on her hips. “I’m _Chloe fucking Valentine,_ you idiot, and you’re staring at my boyfriend.”

“…Oh, this is just a misunderstanding, I was staring at Jake, Jake Dillinger-”

“YES! JAKE DILLINGER, THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND.”

The boy’s face went white. “He’s your _what.”_

   
  


“And then he’s been my best guy friend ever since. Cue badboy makeover to match his career, sleepovers where I name him an honorary girl to make his presence acceptable, him consciously imitating my mannerisms, me setting him up with various boys who I’m _pretty_ sure are gay, him getting his heart broken, what, six times? Anyway, long story short, he used to be a miserable, uncomfortable little nerd, and I helped transform him into the enigma he is today, so you’re welcome.”

“…Wow… So he used to be… Kind of like me?” Jeremy smiled to himself.

“Literally _exactly_ like you, Jerry.” Chloe glanced at Michael. “Minus the one friend.” She corrected.

“My name’s Jeremy…”

“Anyway, what do you think would look better as a Sunday-Evening-Fro-Yo-Outing look with a light sweater?” Chloe held up two different tanktops that looked to be equal quality to Jeremy.

Jeremy hesitated for a minute. “Um… The purple one.”

Chloe took the one Jeremy didn’t pick and threw the purple tanktop aside. “Great, I’m counting on your judgement being the opposite of reliable.”

“Oh.”

   
  


Michael and Brooke didn’t have anything in common. Everything she talked about meant nothing to him, and he knew she felt the exact same way.

Or, that was until Brooke started talking about Chloe.

Not long into their “conversation”, Brooke was ranting nonstop at Michael about how exhausting being Chloe’s friend is.

“-And, like, I’m _sorry_ that I got some recognition for once, is that so wrong? How does that hurt her in _any way?”_

Michael shrugged. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

Brooke looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“Talk to her. Like, you use your mouth to say things. Except, in this case, the things aren’t useless rumors about people you don’t actually care about, the things are your feelings.”

Brooke gasped. “No! Who knows what she’d do if I did that?!”

“Oh no, you might accidentally be down one toxic friend.”

“Chloe is _not_ toxic.” Brooke distracted herself by going through a pile of hoodies. “All friendships have tension, you know. I bet you and Jeremy have some power structure.”

Michael looked… concerned. “No, we don’t. We’re just good friends, and we’re nice to each other.”

“Damn. Well, not everyone can have a perfect, fairy tale friendship, Michael.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “If you wanna keep being miserable, be my guest, but my guess is that you don’t.”

Brooke sighed. “…Do you wanna hear how me and Chloe met?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh. Okay, nevermind, then.”

Michael watched while Brooke flipped through hangers, not seeming to have any interest in what she was looking at. After an awkward minute of silence, Brooke finally spoke up.

"…What's the secret?"

"What?"

"What's the secret, Michael? What do I have to do to have with Chloe what you have with Jeremy?"

"I…" Michael paused. “…I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a miracle solution to make your friendship with Chloe better. With stuff like this… It’s not a matter of the friendship itself, it’s a matter of the people in it. And sometimes… People just can’t change.” He shrugged, without much energy. “I’m sorry, Brooke. This might not be something you can fix.”

Brooke was silent for a while, but she eventually nodded, like all that was something she already knew, and she was just waiting for someone to say it, or maybe she was dreading hearing it said out loud. One will never know.

   
  


Jeremy spent several hours that night combing through the comments left on the sexy poll post, where people explained why they voted for who they voted for. The majority of the comments talking about Dustin mentioned his abs, his objectively perfect hair, and how cool it was that he kicked Rich Goranski in the nose.

While paying a little too much attention to one particular comment regarding the way Dustin walked, Jeremy noticed that Jenna posted something new.

Jeremy scrolled up and found a video of Dustin pinning Jake to the floor.

Oh.

OH.

Oh?

Oh.

His phone buzzed with a message from Michael.

[New Message from: Michaelangelo]

M: hey did you see that video jenna posted  
J: yes im so confused and somehow deeply disturbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO IM BACK.
> 
> ok so the reason this took so long is that, yes, this chapter is 5.2K words so that took a while, whoops
> 
> also, see if you can see how many trademarked titles/brands i mention in this chapter, itll be a fun game
> 
> EDIT: the backstory for how dustin and chloe met was born from the beautiful mind of @Lacy_Star ! check out her cool homo zone fic called "Nonverbal Communication"! its definitely one of the best things ive ever read and im not kidding you need to read it
> 
> ill probably post again in a few weeks with something probably longer because i dont know how to limit myself with chapter 11: Fascination


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